Toys. If play is the work of the child, toys are the tools to help children in their work. My kids have lots of ‘tools’ in their toolbox. And sometimes their tools do too much. They sing, dance, talk, count, light up, and take all the imagining out of the play. The tools end up doing all the work for my littles and they are left bored, unappreciative, and craving something more. Like a new toy for example. A toy that does something different than the toy they were just playing with three minutes ago. (Can anyone relate?) They need a new shot of dopamine to continue their play. And the cycle continues.
Contrast that scene to one with a basket of wooden blocks and toy cars. These are some of my kids’ most beloved toys, although they don’t even know it. When these emerge from the closet after sitting on the sidelines for awhile, hours of play ensue. This play is not always without issue, but is all encompassing and engaging. They create and imagine. They devise rules and keep them and break them. They get bossy with each other, construct towns, fabricate a world all their own, come to me with problems. It isn’t a picture of play from a toy commercial, but one with real engagement and some very real hiccups here and there.
When I think about which scene I want in my home, it is an easy choice. However, if I want lots of deep play and not a lot of surface-y play, I need to be intentional about the toys coming into our home.
Toys matter. They are the tools our children use day in and day out to understand the world around them. They are valuable and important. And the question is: What kind of toys should our children be using as tools?
Every holiday season, parents are inundated with ads for toys that will make their child happier, smarter and more successful. They usually involve the latest technology, make noises or are unique in some other way — and are often expensive. Or, they are spin-offs from the latest movie or the latest edition of a popular video game. As a pediatrician, the ads make me sad — because they are rarely for toys that actually help children be happier, smarter, or more successful.
McCarthy’s article titled, The 3 kinds of toys that really help your child, list simpler toys such as blocks, materials for writing, dolls, cars, dress up clothes, a play kitchen, games, tents, balls and jump ropes among other toys that help children in their development and health.
All of these toys fit under three umbrellas: Toys that require imagination, Toys that encourage interaction, and Toys that get your child moving. These three categories can be a guide to choosing which toys remain in our homes and which toys are intentionally taken out.
Payne and Ross write in Simplicity Parenting: If you give a child less and less complexity, they become more interested, and this cultivates true powers of attention.
What if we look at toys as tools and only keep the ones helping our children do their work? What if we get rid of the excess in our playrooms and toy bins to make room for the more valuable toys? What if we give our children the gift of less so they can enjoy their play more?
By simplifying the number and complexity of our children’s toys, we give them liberty to build their own imaginary worlds. When children are not being told what to want, and what to imagine, they can learn to follow their own interests, to trust their own emerging voices. They can discover what genuinely speaks to them. -Simplicity Parenting
What are some of your kids’ favorite toys (maybe ones they don’t even know are their favorites)? What do they go back to day after day after day? I would love to know!