It’s a rainy Monday morning, a reprieve from the heat of summer. Dust rests on every surface of our daily living space as our contractor, James, moves wires and muds drywall. My three babes dance and run and twirl around me as I gather our books for school. We proceed through our morning routine with books, handwriting, singing and counting blocks. We finish the morning by replacing nice clothes with old t-shirts, bare chests and paint at the counter. The end results are an Egyptian necklace, a snake and a real baby with streaks of yellow paint across his belly. James packs up his stuff to leave and Luke rushes to a kitchen cabinet. He grabs a jar of honey he helped his Grandma bottle a few weeks back (in very limited supply). He rushes over to me and whispers, “Can I give it to James?”
I nod and he meets James at the top of the stairs to hand him the bottle. An explosive smile spreads across Luke’s face as James says “Thank you.” An hour later a plumber has come to fix our water softener. Twenty minutes in the guy looks at me with eyebrows raised and says, “Got your hands full.” Yep. He does what he does and leaves us with a working machine. As he walks down the steps, Luke rushes to the cabinet, grabs one of the few remaining jars of honey he helped Grandma bottle, and hands it to the repairman. Just a week earlier, Luke handed a friend a jar of honey, unprompted, dwindling the reserve yet further. I text my husband at naptime on that rainy Monday and said Luke is handing out honey like Oprah.
If I’m being honest, there was part of me that wanted to say ‘No!’ when Luke asked if he could give James the honey. I know there was a lot of sweat and hard work in those glass jars. Luke worked hard, but so did his Grandma. And that doesn’t even account that it’s some of the best honey I’ve ever tasted. But, I said ‘yes’ when Luke asked. I said yes, well, because I couldn’t say no to his bright eyes and heart. If I would have, I would have missed the smile that spread across his face and the pride I saw in his eyes when he gave it away. And Luke would have missed the opportunity to give something he made, something he was proud of. I’m so glad I said yes.
My five year old knows how to give without restraint. He doesn’t hold back, doesn’t feel the need to clutch things tight against his chest for fear of losing them. He lives with his heart and hands wide open (at least when it comes to his honey).
It got me thinking about how I live. Do I live with my heart and hands open? When I put myself in Luke’s shoes, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have handed out honey to the two men working in our home, and it’s only honey. I didn’t even help collect or bottle it, but it’s good honey and I wouldn’t have wanted to let it go. I took it a step further, would I have offered those men jam I just made or lunch I just cooked for my kids? Or even simpler, did I offer those men my smile, my listening kindness or a cold glass of water? And after some reflection, I’m not sure I did.
It’s easy to go through life and do the things needing done and care for the ones needing care and love my people well. It’s easy to go through the motions of breakfast and clean up and naptimes without concern for my plumber or mail carrier or barista. Or, dare I say, sometimes even my husband. But what if I took Luke’s approach to life? What if we did?
What if we handed out honey like Oprah?
What if we smiled at strangers and gave away things that were meaningful to us? What if we thought about our husbands before ourselves for a day or made the mail carrier some cookies? What if we actually tipped the barista and looked into her eyes to say ‘thank you’? What if we handed out honey, without constraint, with our hearts and hands wide open?
How would this simple, yet radical approach to interaction change our perspective of this world and the perspectives of others around us? Could it make a difference? I didn’t ask James or our plumber, Shawn, if that honey put an extra pep in their step, but I know it encouraged me, an onlooker in Luke’s kindness charade. I know it softened my heart, gave me hope, and made my world a bit brighter on that rainy day. I know it made me think about how I could be more open with the things I have to offer the world.
This isn’t a new concept, this being kind thing, but Luke and his honey reminded me even the smallest of us have something to give. Recognizing the abundance of what I have relative to what I need is a perspective I am working at fostering. (Simple isn’t always easy.) Once I recognize the abundance, then I can move towards being grateful for the abundance and finding ways it can benefit others. Even when I don’t think I have anything to give with the homeschooling and the diapers and the three meals a day and the playdates, I do. I have something to give. And I want to stand next to my five year old and hand out honey with my heart wide open.