‘Let’s go to Target, Chick-fil-A, and then get ice cream. You are the best Mommy!’
I remember specifically a day this past fall when I took my oldest son on a date. It was one of those early September days, there was still a touch of summer in the air. The sun was peeking out from behind clouds and Luke and I had the afternoon completely to ourselves, just him and I.
He had a plan and we were ready to conquer it together. Our first stop was Target, where he used some of his money to choose a new Lego kit to put together. After browsing the aisles and finally landing on the ‘the one’, we headed to Chick-fil-A to eat our weight in chicken nuggets and Luke ran around in the play area for as long as his little heart desired. His cheeks were pink when it was time to go and we headed straight for the ice cream shop. It was nice enough to sit outside and we ate our scoops of chocolate while talking about our favorite parts of the day. You couldn’t wipe the smiles off our faces if you tried and we laughed and took silly selfies and filled our bellies with ice cream as we headed home, hearts and tummies full.
The past few years, dates with our kids have become a priority. With three babes, it’s hard to give them all the attention we would like all the time, so a date is one way we reconnect and intentionally spend time with them one on one. They have been as simple as lunch at Chick-fil-A and as extravagant as dinner at our favorite spot downtown with ice cream after. Whatever it is, the goal is connection and attention.
Every few months, Kevin and I sit down and write quarterly goals. This January, Kevin told me he wanted to work on his relationship with Lily (she is a Momma’s girl through and through). He said he wanted to have a designated day on the calendar for dates with her. In the past, we have randomly done it when the kids seemed to need it or we had time. He decided he wanted to be more intentional about making sure she got some one on one time consistently. So, we went through the calendar and put in their dates, so the idea wouldn’t get lost in the shuffle of everyday life.
Dating your kid is a simple concept, but has been super impactful for our family. Here are a few reasons why we love dating our kids…
One on one time is invaluable.
If you’re a parent with multiple kids, you know getting one on one time with each child has to be intentional or it won’t happen often. Dates allow both Kevin and I to have time to connect with each of our kids without distraction.
It’s an opportunity to go deep.
Our kids are still pretty young (6, 4, 2), but it’s a lot easier to ask some deeper questions when I am alone with Luke or Kevin is alone with Lily. Questions like: Who are your closest friends and why? What gets you excited? What are you scared of? What do you think about Jesus, have you been talking to Him lately? These questions can catapult some good, worthwhile conversations in a safe place.
The kid feels so loved.
This isn’t rocket science, but when I take Luke out for a date, it shows him I love him and value him enough to make time for him. It shows him he is important and worthy of my time and attention. Obviously I want to make him feel this way everyday, but this is an intentional and special way to do it.
It’s a time to teach through experience.
Dates are something most kids will go on someday with a peer. When Kevin and I take our kids on dates, we try and show them how a date should look, how they should be treated and also how they should treat their date. It’s not super sterile, but simple things like you put your napkin on your lap, you open the door for a girl, you have conversation instead of looking at a device; these are things we are hoping to teach them as we take them on dates.
The dates I have gone on with my kids have been some of the most fun, silliest, and memorable moments for me as a mom. With all the distractions of everyday life, sitting across the table from one of my tiny people fills my cup and I’m pretty sure it fills their cup as well.
When I was on that date with my oldest son this fall I could almost see our relationship swelling and growing through our chocolate ice cream cones and silly selfies. I could see it getting stronger as we held hands walking down a cobblestone street to choose our ice cream flavor. I could almost see the foundation being built as we talked about Lego and the pumpkin patch and his upcoming birthday.
For us, the time, energy, and money spent on dates with our kids will always, always be worth it.
Tell me, do you date your kids?