Savor the Season

Savor: to enjoy something completely

Jack is on my chest, his legs and feet curled up as if he were still cozy and snug in my belly. The smell of him consumes me and I immediately take it in. There isn’t anything better smelling than the head of a newborn. In fact, I’m convinced if someone could bottle that smell, I would buy a lifetime supply. His head and cheek are soft against my chest and I wonder how he will ever be big enough to play soccer or go to school or (gasp) grow up and leave the house. It doesn’t seem remotely possible. My other three babes are sleeping and I am fully here in this moment with my sweet Jack.

A few hours earlier three children are crying at once while I attempt to discuss exclamation points with my oldest at the dining room table. I close my eyes for a minute to get my bearings and take a deep breath. I attend to the two older crying children while trying to soothe my baby with some bounces and butt pats. The older ones run off to play as I bounce and cuddle Jack and have my oldest identify the difference between a period, question mark, and exclamation point. The morning continues like this: each child needing my undivided attention, sometimes all at once and sometimes one or two at a time.

Each season is full of the beautiful and the messy, the easy and the hard, the good days and the tough ones. It is easy to wish seasons away when the messy and hard and tough things happen. I will be the first to admit I have been on that train. When three kids are crying while I’m trying to homeschool, my brain goes straight to wishing for things. Wishing the baby was just a little bit older so he could sleep on his own without my help. Wishing the middle two wouldn’t need me to kiss every owie and enforce ‘I’m sorrys’. I am good at wishing for things to move faster and get easier.

But when I am in the beautiful and the easy and the good, I want time to slow, stop even. When Jack’s head is on my chest and his mouth is open just a bit and I can smell that sweet head of his, I don’t want him to get one hour older.

I believe this is the push and pull of motherhood. Each and every season is full of moments when all is right in the world and moments when nothing seems like it is. And as I gaze at my fourth child starting to stir beside me, I realize I have been playing this game of tug of war the whole seven years I have been a mom.

I think it’s good to acknowledge each season and the good and hard that comes with it. For me, to acknowledge is to empower. When I realize I get the privilege to snuggle a sweet newborn and yet I have the struggle to keep all the balls in the air with my other kids, it is far easier for me to be grateful for the good. Recognizing and naming the good in the season and acknowledging the hard is healthy for both my physical body and my mind.

So, when I have two hours in the afternoon to snuggle my littlest man, I am going to savor it. I am going to smell him and hold him close and remember this season won’t last forever. He will be six and playing soccer before I even realize it. And when I feel like everything is falling apart, I am going to do my best to take a deep breath, smile at all my babies, and send up a prayer of gratitude and a prayer for patience. I fully believe God will give me what I need in this season to live out the purpose He has for me in raising these four little souls.

Tell me: What season are you in? What makes it beautiful and what makes it messy?