5 Ways to Connect with Our Kids

We were created for connection. As much as we adults long for connection and community, so do our kids. They want to feel close to us, even if they would never say that out loud. Here are 5 Ways to Connect with Our Kids.

5 Ways to Connect with Our Kids

One on One Time

In our family, something we strive for is one on one dates with each kid as often as we can swing it. In some seasons, it’s once a month. Other seasons it’s once every three or four months. It’s super obvious when it’s a priority and when we aren’t on our game. When my husband and I make space for one on one time, we feel more connected as a family. Our kids are more responsive to us. And we are all a bit more content with one another.

One on one time doesn’t have to look like a date to a park or a restaurant. It can look like 15 minutes of chatting or baking or reading before baby brother gets up from his nap. One on one time can look like 5 minutes before bed, spending focused time with one child. It can look like talking with a kid in the car on the way to soccer practice. It doesn’t have to be well thought out or elaborate, it just has to be intentional.

Is there a time in your day you can spend one on one time with each child? Or maybe take it a step further and make space for a date?

Reading Aloud

A stack of books, a cozy blanket, and kids on your lap is a great place to foster connection. Reading aloud is one of my favorite ways to connect with my kids.

Reading aloud can become a rhythm of your day, making connection easier. Simply find a read aloud time in your day, whether it’s before nap, before bed, or after school. If you’re a homeschooling family, try a Morning Basket. Committing to reading aloud and making it part of your everyday rhythm ensures built in connection with your kids each day.

Is there a time in your day you can gather your kids and read aloud? What would it look like?

Play

You may be really good at playing with your kids and may even enjoy it. Or playing with your kids may make you cringe a little. I’m here to tell you it’s okay whichever camp you’re in. Getting on the floor to play Legos or cars with my kids is not my favorite thing in the world to do. And I’ll be honest when I say it’s not something I do super often. However, taking five to ten minutes (set a timer!) to play with our kids can build relationships. It shows we are interested in what they are interested in. We are given access to their world of imagination and creativity and get to see our kids being their true selves. Although it’s not my favorite thing to do, I never regret playing with my kids.

Can you find time in your day to set a timer for 10 minutes and play with your kids?

Physical Touch

Some kids love to be touched. And almost all toddlers do. Be mindful of incorporating touch into interactions with your kids. My eight year old puts my hand on his back or head to scratch it when we are reading together or he is telling me a story. My four year old crawls onto my lap with sleepy eyes each morning. There are times I think I ‘don’t have time’ for it, but I do. I always do. Physical touch is one way we can connect with our kids, especially if it is their love language.

Do you know your kid’s love language? Do you have a kid who likes physical touch? If so, how can you incorporate it more into your day?

Shared Passion, Project, or Experience

Have you ever seen your kid light up about something? A sport, Lego, cars, baby dolls, an animal? Getting involved with our kids’ passions builds a shared connection. Star Wars is absolutely not my thing, but it is my oldest son’s thing. I have read Star Wars books, gotten involved with Star Wars humor, and even sat through a movie or two. Although it’s not my favorite, it gives me great joy to see my boy light up about something and I know it’s fostering good things within our relationship.

Bike riding is something we do as a family. It’s nothing grand, but now that it’s spring, we try and bike ride together at least once a week. Bike rides have become a shared passion: the gathering of the gear, the ‘we can do hard things’ chant, the post bike ride ice cream. It’s a thread of our family and it’s a good one.

What is a shared passion you can do with your child or a shared experience or project you can do as a family?

We all want to feel connected to our kids and want them to feel the same. What is one way you foster connection with your kids?