November is a big birthday month around here.  My two bigs have birthdays a week apart and a grandpa and a grandma celebrate their birthdays in November.  Parties, presents, balloons, cake, the special birthday plate are all things signifying the passing of another year.  Every family does their own thing when it comes to birthdays.  We all have our little traditions, our ways of making the ones we love feel loved.

The past few years I have been working on simplifying our birthdays.  There are a few reasons for this quest.  First, I want the birthday kid to be the center of the celebration.  Each child gets one special day a year.  I want to make it count and cut the fluff the birthday kid could care less about.  Second, I want to enjoy the celebration as well.  In the past, I have fussed and fretted and been frazzled on birthday party day and I am trying to let go of that as much as possible.  I want to be in the moment and see the look of surprise when the perfect gift is opened or when the birthday kid sees the Lego cake for the first time.  And my last reason: I know simpler doesn’t have to mean less fun.  It can mean more family time, more giggles, more experiences together.

Speaking of experiences…

Experiences is where we will hang out today.  Offering the birthday kid an experience with something new instead of another toy in the toy box is one way to simplify birthdays (and also make them super fun).  Experiences allow kids to participate in something instead of being a passive consumer.  And I think the most important advantage to gifting experiences is it allows multiple family members or friends to participate, creating not just special memories, but important and vital bonds.  Let’s talk simple birthday gifts.

Simple Birthday Gifts

Birthday Date

The first simple birthday gift is doable for those with little time and full calendars.  Take your kid on a birthday date.  We have been doing this the past few years and it has been a big highlight.  Choose something the birthday kid would really like to do and then do it!  It could be a museum, a playground, a movie, a fancy restaurant (Olive Garden seems to be fancy enough for our kids).  If your child is really young, you can plan the date or if your kid is older ask them for suggestions.  Since we have multiple kids in our family, we try and do the birthday date with both my husband and I, the birthday kid, and no siblings.  Grandma usually steps in to watch the others so the birthday date is super special.

Membership Gift

We are lucky enough to live semi-close to some incredible opportunities for kids.  Museums, gyms, the zoo, and theaters are just a drive away.  Gifting a membership to one of these experience driven places is a gift that can give over and over again all year long.  A membership to a museum means the birthday kid can visit and revisit a favorite exhibit.  You can even combine the birthday date and the membership gift and take the birthday kid to the new spot on date day.

Trip or Party?

This last simple birthday gift is a new one for us this year.  We asked our two bigs if they would rather have a big party or go to an indoor water park.  It was an easy decision and they both answered: water park.  (Duh?)  This year instead of hosting a big party, we will be packing swimsuits and driving a few hours to swim and maybe make a small detour to Legoland.  The money we would have spent on a party will be spent on making some fun family memories together.  The kids will still get a small party with extended family to blow out candles on a cake, but it will look a lot different than years past.  Giving older kids an option on how they want to spend their birthday seems reasonable and there is less of a chance for disappointment.  I am thinking I will love this one.

Are there still gifts?

Some of you are asking if we still give our kids real, tangible, hold-in-your-hand gifts on birthdays.  And we absolutely do.  Each kid has items on their birthday list they will receive from us, grandparents, and extended family.  My top priority in choosing a simpler birthday celebration is making the birthday kid feel loved and valued and special on their day without becoming a crazy person.  And appropriate gifts are still a part of that.

These ideas may or may not work for your family, your kids, your lifestyle.  Pinterest Mom, YOU DO YOU!  However, if you’re feeling a bit frazzled around birthday time like me, maybe one of these ideas will help you, too.  I think we all should enjoy and savor birthdays, especially when we only get 18 of them with our kids in our home.

I would love to know if you have some simple birthday gift ideas for kids!

Everyone has their own perspective of what fall should look like.  Pumpkin patches, apple orchards, fall baking, playing in the leaves, pumpkin spice everything, spooky decorations and outings.  There is no one way or wrong way to do fall.

As I move towards living a more intentional life, bucket lists have become my go-to, especially when it comes to what our family wants to do each season.  Sometimes we check everything off the list and sometimes the list sits undone, but it helps us to think through what we want each season to look like.

This year, I kept it painlessly simple.  I let each family member choose something to put on the list. Five family members, five items on our bucket list.  In the past, we sat down and made a big ‘ol  long list, but this year I knew my momma capacity wasn’t too big, so we slimmed it way, way down.

It took us five minutes after dinner to discuss what we wanted to do this fall.  Each family member chose one thing and we all enjoyed having a voice and being part of the fun.  Since Jude, our youngest at 19 months, couldn’t really communicate what he wanted to do this fall, Luke and Lily spoke for him.  It was sweet because they said Jude would want to go to the zoo, which is pretty accurate.

Here is what our fall list looks like this year:

Can you guess mine?  I’ll give you a hint: Baking is my jam in the fall. 

I think this list is doable.  And if not, that’s okay, too.  What is on your fall bucket list this year?

It’s a rainy Monday morning, a reprieve from the heat of summer.  Dust rests on every surface of our daily living space as our contractor, James, moves wires and muds drywall.  My three babes dance and run and twirl around me as I gather our books for school.  We proceed through our morning routine with books, handwriting, singing and counting blocks.  We finish the morning by replacing nice clothes with old t-shirts, bare chests and paint at the counter.  The end results are an Egyptian necklace, a snake and a real baby with streaks of yellow paint across his belly.  James packs up his stuff to leave and Luke rushes to a kitchen cabinet.  He grabs a jar of honey he helped his Grandma bottle a few weeks back (in very limited supply).  He rushes over to me and whispers, “Can I give it to James?”

I nod and he meets James at the top of the stairs to hand him the bottle.  An explosive smile spreads across Luke’s face as James says “Thank you.”  An hour later a plumber has come to fix our water softener.  Twenty minutes in the guy looks at me with eyebrows raised and says,  “Got your hands full.”  Yep.  He does what he does and leaves us with a working machine.  As he walks down the steps, Luke rushes to the cabinet, grabs one of the few remaining jars of honey he helped Grandma bottle, and hands it to the repairman.  Just a week earlier, Luke handed a friend a jar of honey, unprompted, dwindling the reserve yet further.  I text my husband at naptime on that rainy Monday and said Luke is handing out honey like Oprah.

If I’m being honest, there was part of me that wanted to say ‘No!’ when Luke asked if he could give James the honey.  I know there was a lot of sweat and hard work in those glass jars.  Luke worked hard, but so did his Grandma.  And that doesn’t even account that it’s some of the best honey I’ve ever tasted.  But, I said ‘yes’ when Luke asked.  I said yes, well, because I couldn’t say no to his bright eyes and heart.  If I would have, I would have missed the smile that spread across his face and the pride I saw in his eyes when he gave it away.  And Luke would have missed the opportunity to give something he made, something he was proud of.  I’m so glad I said yes.

My five year old knows how to give without restraint.  He doesn’t hold back, doesn’t feel the need to clutch things tight against his chest for fear of losing them.  He lives with his heart and hands wide open (at least when it comes to his honey).

It got me thinking about how I live.  Do I live with my heart and hands open?  When I put myself in Luke’s shoes, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have handed out honey to the two men working in our home, and it’s only honey.  I didn’t even help collect or bottle it, but it’s good honey and I wouldn’t have wanted to let it go.  I took it a step further, would I have offered those men jam I just made or lunch I just cooked for my kids?  Or even simpler, did I offer those men my smile, my listening kindness or a cold glass of water?  And after some reflection, I’m not sure I did.

It’s easy to go through life and do the things needing done and care for the ones needing care and love my people well.  It’s easy to go through the motions of breakfast and clean up and naptimes without concern for my plumber or mail carrier or barista.  Or, dare I say, sometimes even my husband.  But what if I took Luke’s approach to life?  What if we did?

What if we handed out honey like Oprah?

What if we smiled at strangers and gave away things that were meaningful to us?  What if we thought about our husbands before ourselves for a day or made the mail carrier some cookies?  What if we actually tipped the barista and looked into her eyes to say ‘thank you’?  What if we handed out honey, without constraint, with our hearts and hands wide open?

How would this simple, yet radical approach to interaction change our perspective of this world and the perspectives of others around us?  Could it make a difference?  I didn’t ask James or our plumber, Shawn, if that honey put an extra pep in their step, but I know it encouraged me, an onlooker in Luke’s kindness charade.  I know it softened my heart, gave me hope, and made my world a bit brighter on that rainy day.  I know it made me think about how I could be more open with the things I have to offer the world.

This isn’t a new concept, this being kind thing, but Luke and his honey reminded me even the smallest of us have something to give.  Recognizing the abundance of what I have relative to what I need is a perspective I am working at fostering.  (Simple isn’t always easy.)  Once I recognize the abundance, then I can move towards being grateful for the abundance and finding ways it can benefit others. Even when I don’t think I have anything to give with the homeschooling and the diapers and the three meals a day and the playdates, I do.  I have something to give.  And I want to stand next to my five year old and hand out honey with my heart wide open.

When August hits, school is on the brain.  It is the season of sharp pencils, squeaky tennis shoes, and getting back into routines.  It’s the second new year of the year.  Everyone is wanting to do all the things they didn’t do over the summer like meal plan and get up early, mostly because they have to and partly because it just feels good.  Exercise, meal prep, use the planner that hasn’t been touched in months, go to bed early.  These are all routines we maybe need, maybe want to get back into when the new school year approaches.

We homeschool and started a few weeks back.  We started early because I wanted us to have some flexibility during the year.  If we want to go on a trip in January or take a week off in March, it’s okay and we won’t be scrambling to finish up school in July.  We are mostly back into our school routines around here.

Routines

Routines get us from point A to point B.  They make our days smoother, easier, and more manageable.  They allow us and our kids to know what is coming next.  Routines become automatic parts of our day and help us fight decision fatigue.

A routine is performed as part of a regular procedure rather than for a special reason (unlike a rhythm).

Dr. Steve Orma, a CBT clinical psychologist who specializes in treating insomnia, anxiety, and stress, says routines help with stress.  Orma states: Creating a set schedule for doing chores, work tasks, meetings, exercise, paying bills, and all the usual things can help with stress.  Once things you need to get done becomes your normal routine, it’s easier to accomplish everything, because it becomes habit.  And when these things become automatic, you free your mind for more important things.

Routines also help us do things well.  Most of us brush our teeth as a routine.  The more we do it, the better at it we get.  The same goes for routines with kids: the more they have a consistent morning routine of eating breakfast, getting dressed, and getting out the door or to the dining room table for school, the better they will become at that routine.

We (me) love routines in our home.  For us it takes awhile to get back into them and I have learned some things the past few weeks about moving from our easy breezy summer schedule to our school schedule.  Here are a few tips to get back into the routine of a new school year.

Choose a routine as a priority.

No one can do all the things all the time.  Greg McKeown, Author of Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less states, “To be precise, the word is priority—not priorities—and it originated in the 14th century from the Latin prior, meaning “first.” If something mattered the most it was a “priority.”

Priority originally meant one.  It was not intended to be plural.

Choose one routine you want to get in place this school year and focus on it.  Our main routine I wanted to get in place was our morning breakfast routine and beginning school routine.  I thought through what it would look like logistically: what time the kids needed to be up, what I wanted us all to accomplish before we started school, and how I wanted to begin our school day.  It was helpful for me to sit down and think through this before just beginning and letting it happen.  Our morning routine was all I focused on.  I didn’t implement a new meal planning strategy or figure out how to do lunch and naptime more efficiently.  I stuck with the morning and it has helped me tremendously.

Once you decide what routine is a priority, write down what you want it to look like.  Writing things like this down isn’t my favorite thing, but it always helps me visualize what I want to happen.  Decide what one routine is a priority, think through it, and get it on paper.

Start early and start small.

Many kids are already in school, but you preschool mommas may still have a week or so before the big day is here.  Try and start early if you can, a few days before.  One thing I started earlier than normal was getting dressed.  My kids would stay in their pajamas all day everyday if I let them.  I started having my two bigs get dressed in the mornings a few weeks back, 90% on their own.  They both still drag their feet a bit, but getting dressed was something I wanted us to get better at this year.  Don’t get me wrong, there will still be pajama days, but they will be a bit more special and not the norm.  And, guys, this is such a small thing.  I didn’t try and implement our entire morning routine at first, I just took a baby step and had them get dressed.

Teach your kids.

Now that you know what routine you want to focus on, tell your kids.  Practice and talk them through it.  If kids don’t know the expectations, it’s hard to meet them.  Maybe you write it out or draw pictures on index cards or maybe you just walk them through it and have them practice a few times.  Let kids know what you expect them to do and allow them time to practice so you aren’t repeating yourself 100 times every morning.  (I’ve been there.)

Prepare.

The beginning of the school year is exciting, but can also be a little overwhelming.  Help yourself by preparing as much ahead of time as you can.  A few mini tips to prepare:

1. Use your calendar and look ahead each week.  If you see next week is going to be a big one with open house, the first day of school, and soccer, try and prepare some dinners and lunches ahead of time so you’re not scrambling all week.  On our first day of school I prepped both lunch and dinner ahead of time so I could focus on school that first day.
2. Set out clothes.  If we are going somewhere the next day, I set out Luke’s clothes the night before so all he has to do is get dressed.  This has been a huge time and sanity saver for me.  It’s one less decision to make on a full morning.
3. Pack the night before. Instead of hunting for back packs in the morning, have them all ready to go each night.  Although we don’t have back packs to take with us, anytime we go on a play date or field trip, I try and pack the night before.  It eases my mind that I’m not forgetting anything and takes one thing off my list in the morning.
4. Keep things easy those first few weeks. It’s overwhelming for everyone and it helps to give yourself and your people some grace.  Maybe that means eating out or picking up take out.  Maybe it means letting the dusting go or putting home projects on the back burner for awhile.  A whole bunch of grace is needed those first weeks back to school.

What are your tips for getting back into routines?  Please share!

We have just finished a meal of burgers and sweet corn, fresh from our patch down the road.  I am sweeping crumbs from the kitchen as the kids ready themselves for bath time.  They still all bathe together, a routine that will soon come to an end as they inevitably grow older and privacy reveals itself.  Baths are quick tonight.  Hair is scrubbed clean and the dirt on their feet disappears into the bubbles.  After baths the kids quickly dress, anticipating what is coming.  This is not the usual scenario of stalling with ‘five more minutes Mom…please’ and literally dragging their feet to dry off and get into their pajamas.  No, Saturday nights are different because, well, they are Saturday nights.

On Saturday nights we do movies and something sweet.  Our oldest two take turns choosing a movie we all can enjoy (Cinderella is a fan favorite and the choice tonight) and then we stretch out on the couch in the living room to indulge in this rare pleasure.  Right after the mice and birds finish turning Cinderella’s old ball gown into something magnificent, Luke asks for the brownies we made earlier. On Saturday nights we get to eat something special, a sweet treat usually prepared by the kids and I earlier in the day.  I cut out brownies and plop a scoop of ice cream on the side.  Luke and Lily gobble them up and we finish the night happily watching Cinderella and Prince Charming live happily ever after.

Rhythms.  Special Saturday nights are a rhythm in our family.  Around 5:00 every Saturday night in our home you will hear my husband or I say: ‘Live from the farm…it’s Saturday night’ and then this indulgent, special night plays out.  And can I tell you something?  It’s my favorite night of the week and I’m pretty sure the rest of my family will vouch that it’s their’s, too.

Do you have any rhythms your family looks forward to every day, week, or month that bind you together?  A rhythm you do on a regular basis that is expected and always on the horizon?  Today I want to share some rhythms we have done in our home as well as rhythms I have gathered from friends and family.

Fun Rhythms with Kids

Game night

Choose a night of the week or the month and play a game together.  Maybe it’s the same game or maybe you switch it up every time.  Gather popcorn and M & Ms and yourselves around the table and let loose.

Clean out the fridge night

Self explanatory?  Choose one night a week or month to clean out the fridge and use only ingredients you currently have to make a hodge podge meal.  Let your kids eat yogurt and pickles and clean out the fridge in the process.  Big time bonus: you don’t have to cook.

Charcuterie night

A friend does this in her home.  They go to the store and pick out a few different cured meats and cheeses, bring them home and make a pretty charcuterie tray.  You know the ones at fancy restaurants?  Add some nuts, jam, crackers, and veggies and you just made dinner time a bit easier.  We do this bi-weekly in our home and our kids love it; mainly because it’s pretty much glorified snacks for dinner.  Nobody minds.

Go on an adventure

Walks, go on walks.  We call walks adventures at our house because it makes it much more exciting for our kids.  We try and do this when the weather is nice enough.  It usually happens after dinner when the kids need to burn some energy before we start the bedtime routine.

Pizza night

So cliche, I know.  We do pizza every Sunday night, usually with my in-laws.  It’s one of the most pleasant nights of the week and I wouldn’t give it up for anything.  Sometimes the pizza is frozen, sometimes we make our own when we decide to get fancy (and a bit healthier), but either way pizza is for dinner on Sunday night.

Date nights

I am a BIG advocate of date nights with your spouse, but I’m talking about dates with your kids.  We try and do this as often as we can and whenever we make time for it, it’s so good.  Take one kid out to do something fun, maybe even let them choose.  We have done park dates, Target dates, ice cream dates, and just plain old (and ever popular) Chick-fil-A dates.  One on one time is huge for our kids and they always feel so loved afterwards.

Snuggles and books (THE simplest rhythm)

This is more of a daily rhythm and so simple and straight forward.  Read to mark transitions in the day.  Read the Bible during breakfast, read a few books before nap, read a novel at night before bed and prayers.  Obviously it doesn’t have to look exactly like that, but using books in your daily rhythm builds in reading time with your kids and helps to ease transitions.  It also helps everyone be in the moment together.  And a bonus for getting your kids to sleep: I’ve noticed books help to calm my kids before naps and bed.

Rhythms help our family bond and make memories together.  They help our kids understand expectations and assist them in marking time and recognizing what is coming.  I am a big fan of rhythms and have tried to implement them in our family life as much as possible.  What are some rhythms you have in your home?  Please share!

If you’re like me, you both loathe and love the month of August.  Last minute trips to the swimming hole or pool, fair food, watching the fireflies dance around a campfire, and the beginning of solid routines to get in shape for the school year are some of my favorite things about August.  But then there’s the bugs and the burnt grass and the beginning of routines to get in shape for the school year (Yes, I know that one is in there twice.)  August is both beautiful and buggy, calm and chaotic, and straight up magical.

We only get 18 summers they say and this is the end of one of them.  (We actually very slowly started school on Monday.) How do we savor these last few weeks and moments when the days are long (literally) with the littles in our care?  How do we muster up the energy for one last pool trip, one last s’more, one last popsicle feast?  Here are a few ways I’m going to try and savor the last few moments of summer…

1. Have a nothing-on-the-calendar-day.

I know this is hard, but no one needs this like a mom at the end of summer.  I plan on waking up the morning of my have-nothing-on-the-calendar-day with nothing on my to-do list and to take the day as it comes.  Maybe we will stay in our pajamas all day.  Maybe we will go to the museum.  Maybe we will turn on the sprinkler or cozy up on the couch with some books.  Maybe we will even bake when it’s 90 degrees outside.  The only rule is there are no plans, just a day to spend however we choose.

2. Stay up late.

Just one night.  Things get crazy in the summer and many times bedtimes aren’t met because of fireworks or parties or road trips.  Usually we are away from home when the kids stay up late and we are literally throwing them in their beds when we get home.  But, on this night they will stay up late at home.  We will wait until it gets dark and watch the fireflies light up our yard and maybe even try to catch one.  We will look at the stars and go on a nighttime adventure around the farm.  We might even make s’mores if we can find the energy.  We will stay up late at home.

3. Let the kids choose.

One day in August I am going to ask the kids what they want to do.  They will each get to choose something (within reason) to do.  I already know we will be going to the children’s museum because my son is obsessed.  We will do those things with my two bigs leading the way.  I’m sure their minds will change 20 times before they decide, but they will get to take ownership of our day and our time.  I think it will be good.

4. Finish the bucket list or throw it out.

I know, I know.  These two things contradict each other.  Depending on where we are at and how many things have been crossed off, we might try to dig in and make the most of our last weeks by completing our list.  Or, we may simply erase the dry erase board penning all the fun things we were going to do this summer and dream about doing better next year.  It’s still up in the air where the ball will land.

5. Take time to remember.

There is something holy about remembering.  I read that in a book recently.  I want to cultivate remembering by talking and writing with my kids.  They started keeping a journal of our summer adventures in June and it is by far one of the best ideas I have actually implemented.  During these last few moments before life changes from sun and sleeping in to routines and rhythms, I want to take time to go back through their journals and remember our summer together.  Get some sparkling juice and toast the three months of summer adventures.  I believe with my whole heart there is something holy about remembering.

18 summers and this is the end of one of them.  I want to savor this time with my babes before they grow another day older with another summer behind them.  How are you going to savor these last moments of summer?  Please share in the comments, I would love to know!