A Simpler Motherhood

Category: A Simpler Motherhood

Vanessa

Now what?

A Simpler Childhood, A Simpler Motherhood

Schools are closed. You may or may not have toilet paper. (If you don’t, message me.) And it’s like Groundhog Day for the next, well, who knows how long. Life is weird right now, friends. Real weird.

If you’re a Mom trying to figure out how to get through the next several weeks, this post is for you.

Our day to day has changed a little in the past week because my husband is working from home and we can’t do our normal playdates, groups, and field trips. Otherwise, it’s semi-normal for us to be at home. I started homeschooling a few years back when my oldest was in preschool and we have been doing this school thing from home ever since.

From one homeschooling mom to another, you’ve got this. You may not have chosen this homeschool gig, but you know your child best and can turn these days at home into something sweet and something memorable (in a good way).

Now what?

First, breathe. This is your pep talk. You have known your child the longest. THE longest. You have read her bedtime stories, bathed, clothed, and fed her. You have been there since the beginning: loving and caring for her, putting her needs before your own. You have watched her eyes light up with wonder, endured tantrums and tears. You have felt her hand in your hand and her head on your shoulder. You are her Momma and you know her best. Believe that and use it these next few weeks.

Think rhythm instead of routine.

Seriously, you don’t need to write a schedule or routine with 15 minute increments on the chalkboard or notebook paper or anywhere, unless you want to. Routines have their place (like in a morning and evening routine), but I’ve found rhythms allow grace and flexibility when it comes to our homeschooling day. A rhythm can help you and your kiddos move through the day with some flow and expectations and a bit of structure. Children thrive within rhythms and many Moms do as well. Think through how you want your day to feel and flow and write it down. I want our day to feel unhurried, comforting, cozy, and full of beauty. Our rhythm doesn’t begin or end at a certain time, it’s just a list of tasks we work through.

Breakfast

Dressed and Chore

Seat work

School room together

Playtime

Lunch

History/Science

Novel and Reading Lessons

Rest Time

The mood of our home always trumps checking things off. If things get hairy, we take a step back. We may or may not get to everything, but it’s a baseline on how we go about our day. Our daily rhythm helps us move through the day with intentionality and our sanity intact.

Learning happens all the time.

Baking in the kitchen. Cleaning the bathroom sink. Reading together on the couch. Writing a letter to a friend. Organizing a bedroom. Hunting for treasures outside. Making a sandwich. Writing a grocery list. Learning happens all day long, even if it’s hard to see. Embrace this and realize you are doing enough, even if it doesn’t ‘look’ like traditional school. If you’re looking for some ‘Spring Break’ ideas, check here.

Recess matters.

From one Momma who is home all day with her kids to another…there is a MAJOR difference in our day when we get outside for ‘recess’. If the kids are outside for an hour before or after lunch, they actually rest during rest time. If we go on a walk in the sunshine, there is less whining and arguing. Sunshine is medicine and finding a way to get outside everyday might just save us all.

Take advantage of free resources.

Other Goose. Scholastic. ABCMouse. The Measured Mom. This Reading Mama. Teachers Pay Teachers. Audio books from the library. You don’t need to create curriculum for your kids, unless you want to. I will be posting some fun activities on Instagram and Facebook stories in the coming weeks. (I’m @asimplermotherhood) Work smart and use what other people have created for you.

Consider rest time.

Everyday my kids are in their rooms for a set amount of time. Some of them nap, some of them read or play. This is the core reason I am able to function and thrive homeschooling my kids. You might get some push back at first, but it will be worthwhile if you persevere. Rest time refuels me and makes me a better mom in the evenings. It also gives me something to look forward to if the morning isn’t going as planned. It doesn’t have to be for long, even 20-30 minutes can give your crew a break. Everyone going to their corners and regrouping before coming together again can help the days go smoother.

Embrace the slow pace.

I know it’s hard for us all to slow down. It’s hard to cancel all the things and look at the calendar knowing we will be doing the same thing day after day after day for the next few weeks. Let’s name that: It’s hard.

But, there is a lot to be grateful for, too. Slow mornings with pancakes. A leisurely walk outside. A novel and a hot cup of coffee. Laughter over a board game. Family dinners. Less laundry because pajamas all day. More laundry because mud puddles. Homemade cookies. A family dance party. Extra time in the Word. The noticing of the sunrise and the sunset. Noticing what we are grateful for is powerful.

This slowing down could really make us more alive.

now what

Support one another.

Let’s rally around each other. Get on a Marco Polo chat with moms in your neighborhood or small group. Start a text thread with some of the parents in your kids’ classes. DM your online friends with questions and to support one another. Do church online. Send an encouraging letter to a friend. There is a lot of uncertainty, but knowing we are in this together can make this time less lonely and more encouraging.

No one knows what these next few weeks will bring, but we can do a few things to make them more intentional and meaningful. Tell me: How are you answering the question, Now what?

Vanessa

Spring ‘Break’ Play

A Simpler Childhood, A Simpler Motherhood

For many, we find ourselves at home for an extended Spring Break. Here in the midwest we are experiencing some magical weather, 60 degrees and sunny has been a small piece of heaven these past few weeks (although it looks like snow tonight). We have been loving the opportunity to get outside and do all the things. With schools closed and kids at home, I thought I would share some Spring ‘Break’ Play ideas. Originally, I wrote this post with a week in mind, but in light of all that is going on, it seems it could be longer. I know there is a lot of unknown in the world, but I’m convinced the right perspective can make this time meaningful at home.

spring break

Here are a few ways to make Spring Break playful and maybe even a bit magical this year…

Spring Break Play

Family Book Club

Spring ‘Break’ is a great time to read a book as a family and really dig into it. We will be reading Charlotte’s Web and as we read we are going to do some fun things like: make a word wall with a spider web, create some spider snacks, and maybe even watch the movie together once we finish it.

If you’re looking for book ideas for your kids, check out Sarah McKenzie over at Read Aloud Revival. She has fantastic book lists for all ages and all genres.

Kids as Chefs

Have the kids plan dinner one night. We are going to try this one and I know my kids will lose their minds, in a good way. They are going to plan the menu, shop for the items either online or in the pantry, and then help make it. There is so much built in learning here, but my biggest hope is it will create some great bonding time for all of us.

Get Outside

I have a feeling much of our Spring Break Play will be spent in our own backyard, playing pirates, reenacting Lion King, and going on adventures around the farm. The kids have loved being outside and I’m thrilled to send them there. It’s also the time of year when there is so. much. mud. Praise Jesus for rubber boots and washing machines.

Do THE THING

Do the thing your kids ask to do all the time, but there isn’t the time nor energy. Build the fort, make the cookies, read the book, play the game, make the craft. Take advantage of this time to DO THE THING. I know we will be playing lots of Chutes and Ladders, cribbage, and building lots of forts around here.

Art Hub

Have you used Art Hub? If you have kids that love to draw or want to learn to draw this is a great resource. A family has put together loads of videos for young kids and older kids alike. My kids love these and it’s a great way to pass some time in a good way.

This time at home can be well spent with a little intentionality and a positive perspective. If you’re looking for more, check out my Spring Tasks post. Let’s help one another: How will you make this time meaningful with your family?

Vanessa

Spring Tasks

A Simpler Home, A Simpler Motherhood

With the changing seasons, come new beginnings.

Spring begins this month. We are so close, friends! A new season means a new beginning. The specific season of spring always puts me in the mood for a refresh or spring tasks. These tasks guide me through the season with intentionality and inspire me to embrace the season. My list of tasks will probably look different than your list, but my hope is in sharing my list, it will encourage you to create your own. Praise Jesus He made us all uniquely in his image. Here is my list of Spring Tasks.

1. Plan my garden.

Any gardeners out there? Me either. I am a beginner at best. Since we live in the country and have lots of built in space for a garden, we plant one. My kids enjoy it and at times, I do, too. I plan to make a list of seeds and vegetables to plant and then map out what bed they will go in. I order most of my seeds from Johnny’s Seeds and pick up my plants at a local gardening store. My mother-in-law is a pro and usually gifts me some plants she starts from seed in her basement. #blessher

2. Deep clean the mudroom

Our mudroom gets abused in the winter (and spring and fall and summer). This spring task is nonnegotiable. I will take most everything out, give it a good cleaning and put back only what is needed for this spring. Drawers will be vacuumed, spring jackets brought in, rain boots cleaned up, and everything that doesn’t belong put away. I’m secretly looking forward to this one.

3. Purchase Easter outfits

Easter is Sunday, April 12th this year. It is on my radar to see what I have for the kids to wear for Easter and then order anything that isn’t in their closets. Lily chose her dress a few weeks ago and it arrived last week. Now, I am going to spend the next month telling her she only has ____ many days until she can wear her Easter dress. #prayforme Anticipation is good for us, right? I still need to decide what the boys will wear and might even think about me, too.

4. Catch up on Shutterfly books

One of my Quarterly Goals was to catch up on my Shutterfly kid books. The end of the quarter is at the end of this month, so I want to be sure I do one last round of adding and editing so I am caught up for spring.

5. Continue 40 things in 40 days

For lent this year, we are giving away one thing everyday for 40 days. This has not only allowed us to focus on generosity, it has also cleaned out some stuff. It’s always nice to make some room in the spring.

6. Review the Cozy Minimalist Spring Course

I am a big fan of all the work The Nester (Myquillyn Smith) does. I purchased her book, The Cozy Minimalist Home, and received her seasonal courses as a bonus. They are SO good and everything is SO pretty. Myquillyn has invaluable advice and knowledge when it comes to creating a beautiful home with not a lot of stuff. I am excited to rewatch the spring course and implement Myquillyn’s tips into my home for spring.

7. Plan and purchase curriculum

Our school year will be ending in a few short months. Usually about March I get antsy to plan the upcoming year. In the fall, Luke will be in second grade and Lily in kindergarten. In the next month or two, I hope to make a plan and purchase our curriculum for next year.

8. Clean out our books

There is always room for one more book in our house. However, some books aren’t super high quality, are damaged beyond repair, or are no longer loved. We will make a sweep through all our books and donate ones no longer serving us.

9. Plan and purchase outdoor supplies

When spring arrives, we move outdoors more and since we live on some land, there are loads of tasks. I review and edit an ongoing spreadsheet of spring tasks. We need to purchase things for these tasks and that’s in my wheelhouse. Grass seed, fertilizer, gardening gloves, seeds, more grass seed. I will make a list and check it twice.

10. Read a book outside when it’s above 60 degrees

I have this one on here because #selfcare When spring comes it is go, go, go and I want to be sure I slow down and savor the beauty around me. The green (not brown!!!) grass, the buds on the trees, the birds singing, the warm sun. I can’t enjoy these things if I don’t stop and notice. Reading a book outside sounds lovely and a bit indulgent. I hope to get it in a few times this spring.

I hope my list inspires you to create your own list of spring tasks. Tell me: what is on your list this spring?

Vanessa

Simplify the Morning and Evening

A Simpler Childhood, A Simpler Motherhood

The quality of our lives often depends on the quality of our habits. -James Clear

Have your mornings ever looked like a baby on your hip at 6:45 a.m., spilled milk and a Cheerio littered floor at 7:00 a.m. and someone complaining about another someone at 7:01 a.m.? #allthehandsareraised Or maybe it’s just me?

Or how about your evenings? Has your evening ever looked like dirty dishes in the sink, two kids in the bathtub and bedtime was 10 minutes ago? Me too.

I don’t know about you, but mornings and evenings seem to be some of the toughest parts of the day. The transition from sleep to awake and from awake to sleep are complicated.

One way I have found to make the beginnings and endings to our days a bit smoother and a bit more enjoyable is to simplify them with a morning and evening routine; both for me and the kids. What is contained within these routines have changed more times than I can count due to our ever changing season of life. But one thing I have learned:

It doesn’t matter what is in the routine, it just matters it is there.

I’m (slowly) coming out of the newborn stage. My youngest son is (almost) 7 months old and I am inching my way towards a morning routine that includes things for me.

Why routine?

In the Harvard Business Review, Sarah Green Carmichael wrote an article on the importance of routine. She referenced the book Daily Rituals: How Artists Work and cited the geniuses in the book all had routines that were essential to their work. If Jane Austen and Beethoven believe routines to be necessary, I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt the rest of us.

Excellence is an art won by training and habituation…We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. -Aristotle

Kids thrive in repetition and routine and we do, too. We free up brain space when routines become automatic and we don’t have to think about what to do next after we pour our first cup of coffee. Thinking through and automating a morning and evening routine allows us to get the things done we want to and frees up brain space in the process.

What do you want?

The first thing to figure out is what needs to get done every morning and every evening. List writers will enjoy this part. Begin with the morning and make a list of everything that needs to be done either for you or your kids and then do the same for the evening. You can combine these, but I suggest doing one for you and one for the kids. Below you can find my lists.

MORNING

For myself:

  1. Workout
  2. Shower and get ready for the day
  3. Devotion and Prayer
  4. Read
  5. Write
  6. Drink 2 big cups of water

In an ideal morning, I would like to complete all these things before my babes rise for the day.

For my kids:

  1. Eat breakfast
  2. Get dressed and brush teeth
  3. Complete one chore
  4. Begin schoolwork
what I learned my first year of homeschooling
EVENING

For myself:

  1. Wash face and brush teeth
  2. Kitchen and living room at ground zero (picked up and clean)
  3. Laundry out of the washing machine

For my kids:

  1. Baths and pajamas
  2. Toys and books picked up
  3. Read books
  4. Devotion and good night

Work Backwards

Using the lists we made, we are going to work backwards to see when we need to begin. Next to each morning and evening routine, I am going to list about how many minutes each task takes. Mine are below.

My Morning Routine
  1. Workout: 10-20 minutes
  2. Shower and get ready for the day: 30 minutes
  3. Devotion and Prayer: 10 minutes
  4. Read: 15 minutes
  5. Write: 15 minutes
  6. Drink 2 big cups of water: Done while doing the above

My morning routine takes about 90 minutes to complete. If my kids wake at 6:45-7:00 and I want these to be done before they wake, I need to be up at 5:15-5:30 to begin my routine.

My Kids’ Morning Routine
  1. Eat breakfast: 30 minutes
  2. Get dressed and brush teeth: 5 minutes
  3. Complete one chore: 10 minutes
  4. Begin schoolwork: Ideally at 8:00

My kids’ morning routine adds up to 45 minutes. If I want my oldest to begin school at 8:00, he needs to be up by 7:15.

My Evening Routine
  1. Wash face and brush teeth: 5 minutes
  2. Kitchen and living room at ground zero (picked up and clean): 15 minutes **If you want to simplify your living space check out this post.
  3. Laundry out of the washing machine: 5 minutes

My evening routine takes 25 minutes. I like to have these things done before we start the kids’ bedtime routine. As you will see below, ideally we would start the kids’ bedtime routine at 7:10. I would need to start my evening routine at 6:50 to be ready to help with the kids at 7:10.

My Kids’ Evening Routine
  1. Baths and pajamas: 30 minutes
  2. Toys and books picked up: 10 minutes
  3. Read books: 15 minutes
  4. Devotion and good night: 10 minutes
morning and evening routine

The total time for the kids’ evening routine is 65 minutes. Yikes. This is why we are always late getting to bed. If we want them in bed at 8:15, we need to start the routine at 7:10.

This task of working backwards helps me visually see when I need to begin our morning and evening routines and completely takes the guesswork out of it. This exercise clearly shows I need to begin the kids’ evening routine at 7:10 and currently we start whenever, sometimes at 7:00, sometimes at 7:30, sometimes right before 8:00, which is probably why we are always late getting the kids down. This will (hopefully) help us moving forward so we aren’t rushing around at the end of the day.

I believe this small tweak of simplifying the morning and evening can create amazing results if we prioritize them and discipline ourselves to be consistent. Tell me: What is in your morning and evening routines?

Vanessa

Simplify the Closets

A Simpler Home, A Simpler Motherhood

So in fact, narrowing down our choices means less overwhelm, and more creativity. -Courtney Carver

Some minimalist influencers suggest starting with clothes when one wants to simplify. We all seem to house our lives in our closets. Our past life, our current life, our future life. The jeans we once wore BC (before children), our favorite lived in tee worn every weekend, and the blouse we bought on sale for that perfect occasion that hasn’t materialized, yet.

Clothes can be incredibly difficult for some and incredibly freeing for others. In my experience, simplifying our closets has brought two things:

  1. More space, less laundry
  2. More creativity, Less overwhelm

How can less clothes=less laundry?

It might seem counter intuitive when I say less clothes=less laundry. But, it absolutely can. With four kids, there is always dirty laundry at our house. Always. But, the less clothes the kids physically have in their closets, the less laundry I have sitting in my dirty laundry basket. I do at least one load of laundry everyday. I put one in the washer in the morning and it must be in the dryer (preferably out and folded) before I go to bed. This simple rhythm aids me in keeping on top of the endless laundry chore.

How does less clothes=more creativity?

Dressing with less allows me to use what I have to put together outfits. Boundaries allow us to be creative and I believe that is true in our closets. When I buy a new piece of clothing, I think about how hard it can work for me. Can it be worn with more than one pair of bottoms or more than one top? Can it be worn for multiple seasons? Can it be paired with various accessories to change up a look? Keeping only the ‘hard working pieces’ in my closet allows for less in my closet overall.

How do I simplify?

I have lost count how many times I have simplified my closet and my babes’ closets. Many, many times. A simpler life is a journey, right? And each time I have simplified a closet, I have done it a slightly different way. I want to share the easiest and fastest way I have done it. Don’t take everything and put it on your bed (unless you really want to…GO YOU!).

A Simpler Approach to Closets

  1. Take a look at your closet, big picture. What do you notice? Do you have clothes from every season in your closet? Are there things you haven’t worn since 7th grade still on hangers? Take a big picture inventory. If this is super overwhelming, you’re doing the right thing by simplifying your closet.
  2. Take everything that isn’t in season right now and box it up. Label the box with the season. (For example, we are in the dead of winter here, so all shorts, tanks, and flip flops can go in the box.)
  3. With only this season’s clothes, go through and sort out items that need mending or altered. Make a plan to get it done within the next week or so. If you know that isn’t going to happen, those items can go into the donate box.
  4. Next, go through and donate anything that doesn’t fit you right now and hasn’t fit you in the last year-ish. You don’t need the past living in your closet.
  5. Touch each piece and ask yourself: Do I love it? Is it beautiful? Do I feel like me in it? Donate (or give to a friend) anything you can’t give a confident ‘yes’. (Side note: I have a super cute, stylish friend who offers me pieces from her closet she is no longer loving and it is such a gift to me. If you know someone who could benefit from items in your closet, ask and then give!)
  6. Donate the clothes as soon as soon as you’re able so they don’t find themselves back in your closet.

This is the most straightforward way I have found to simplify our closets. I have done this with mine as well as all our babes’ closets. I wholeheartedly believe visual clutter matters, even in our closets. Putting away the out of season clothes and donating or giving away things that no longer fit us or we no longer love eliminates some of that visual clutter. This goes for dressers and drawers, too.

Tell me, how do you simplify your closets? What is holding you back from simplifying your clothes? I would love to hear!

Vanessa

Travel with Kids

A Simpler Childhood, A Simpler Motherhood

Some families like to travel and some don’t. I know and love both kinds of people. We are the traveling kind. If you’re in the same boat, this post could be for you.

Travel with kids is unlike travel without kids. (Am I stating the obvious?) There is much more to process, ready, and prepare. However, in my experience, it has always been worth it.

Why do we travel?

Our family chooses to travel for three reasons:

  1. Travel allows for quality time together.
  2. Travel allows us to experience God’s beauty in new ways.
  3. Travel takes us out of our comfort zone and at the same time allows us to rest and relax.

Most of us would agree it is much easier to stay home than take the road trip or fly across the country with kids in tow. It’s common sense. And there are seasons and times when the longing and comfort of home is just what we need. However, since travel is something we value, we make it a priority and we do it.

How do we make travel work?

Travel is a priority for us, but it doesn’t just happen. We have to be intentional. We do two things:

  1. Budget for travel, both with money and time.
  2. Plan.

Because travel is a priority for us, we put aside money each month for it. Instead of new living room furniture, we took a beach trip with the kids this year. Instead of eating out often, we put money towards our travel fund. Twice each month, a set amount is transferred from our checking to our savings account specifically for travel, so we don’t even think about it.

We homeschool, which allows us to be flexible with our schedule. We are able to travel year round, which allows for some savings when it comes to flights, lodging, etc. If you aren’t a homeschooling family, I wholeheartedly believe travel is worth a missed week or so of school.

We plan in advance. Kevin and I have already had a few discussions about travel in 2021. If we want to take the trips, we have to make the plans. And many times that means far in advance so we are able to book the places we want.

Where do we stay?

We almost always stay at a VRBO or Airbnb. With kids, it just makes sense. My biggest reasons a VRBO trumps a hotel are:

  1. There is a kitchen to make meals, keep things cold, and hold snacks.
  2. The kids have their own room and space to move.
  3. LAUNDRY

Laundry is probably my biggest reason for staying in a home or apartment rented from VRBO or Airbnb. We can pack half the stuff we would need and then throw in a load of laundry sometime during our stay. And, we can come home with clean clothes if we want to.

How do we pack?

Light, we pack light. There are some minimalists out there that would say our version of light packing isn’t light at all. But, as James Clear has said: ‘The goal is not to have the least amount of things, but the optimal amount of things.’ We pack as light as we can and each time we travel we learn a bit more about what is needed and what isn’t.

When we travel by plane or in a car longer than a weekend, each child has a backpack and a rolling carry-on. When we travel by car for a weekend away, we pack it all in one suitcase. On longer trips when each kid has their own designated place for their stuff, everything stays more organized.

Kevin and I pack one large suitcase together that we check and a small carry on. Our baby’s things are in with our suitcase as well. We pack a car seat bag that gets checked.

In my experience, I almost always pack too much. I’m (slowly) learning I can pack a lot less.

What happens when we get there?

When we arrive at our destination, one of the first things we do is pick up food at a local grocery store. Since we are usually staying in a house or apartment with a kitchen, we pick up snacks, eggs, bread, bacon (always bacon), peanut butter, jelly, lunch meat, fruit, and veggies.

Next, we check into our place and get unpacked and settled. We usually try to explore a little in the evening to get our bearings before the next full day in a new place. The rest of our time is spent exploring and enjoying one another. On most of our trips, the kids write in their journals about something they did each day. We use a Polaroid Portable Printer to print a picture each day and the kids write about it. As they have gotten older, this is a highlight each day and doubles as a souvenir.

Travel is something we value as a family and strategically do things to make happen. Tell me: Do you travel with kids? What are some tips are tricks you have learned along the way?

Vanessa

20 Simplifying Tasks for 2020

A Simpler Home, A Simpler Motherhood

It’s a new year and a new decade. Many of us have made goals or resolutions or chosen a word of the year. And right about now is when it gets a little harder to dig in and work towards those objectives. If one of your goals this year is to simplify and live life more, here are 20 tasks that will keep you moving in the right direction.

Before we get rolling…this a list of tasks to choose from. I have not done all of them, nor will I do all of them in the next few months. This list provides choices.

1. Purge one room

A good purge always makes me feel so good. If you’re new to simplifying, choose a room that isn’t too hard and doesn’t contain a lot of sentimental items. If you’ve simplified a lot of your home, maybe it’s time to tackle the hard stuff, the room you’ve been putting off. Set aside an hour or two and go through the room, physically touching and making a decision on each item: does it stay or does it go? This task is totally worth it.

2. Set Quarterly Goals

Maybe you missed the New Year’s rush of goal setting and want to start now. There are no rules you MUST make goals on January 1. Read more on how we set Quarterly Goals.

3. Make a book list for the year

The reason we simplify isn’t for simplifying itself, it’s to free up more of our time and energy for worthier things. I just finished Little Fires Everywhere (an incredibly good, but hard fiction book about motherhood). Atomic Habits and The Life Giving Home are on deck.

4. Plan and mark the calendar for some adventures with your people

Recently Kevin and I sat down and plotted out our adventures for 2020. This could be a visit to a local museum or your backyard or across the country. I believe there are adventures to be had everywhere.

5. Give your time away to something you’re passionate about for an hour, a day, or on a weekly basis

At church, at your kids’ school, at a local soup kitchen, even at home writing thank you cards or making flyers for an organization. Giving to others literally can make you happier.

6. Clear off one surface 

Cluttered surfaces matter. Set a timer for five minutes and clear one surface.

7. Create a capsule wardrobe that is ‘enough’ for you

There isn’t a magic number, just what is enough for you and your family. Click here to see my capsule from this fall.

8. Say ‘yes’ to your kids when you want to say no.

Next time my son asks me to play cars, I WILL say yes to him. (Repeat this mantra until I actually do it.)

9. Start journaling

I started journaling this year and it has made a big difference in my attitude and my ability to handle stress. I highly recommend.

10. Try something new that scares you just a little

A dear friend inspired me when she tried Cross Fit (and loved it). I think I will take all four kids to the Children’s Museum. Check, Check, Check, Check.

11. Practice prayer

We all have our own perspectives on prayer. I like to tie it to a part of my day: in the morning when I’m nursing Jack. And when a friend asks for prayer instead of text back, ‘Praying for you!’, I go ahead and try and pray right then and there. Being intentional with prayer has allowed me to make it a part of my everyday.

12. Take a week off from social media

After doing this I felt lighter and happier. I’ll be honest when I say it was hard to go back. A break was good for me.

13. Take notice of kitchen towels, bath towels, and pens

These are non-sentimental items and the probability that all of us have too many is high. (I’m raising my hand.) If you’re wanting to simplify, ruthlessly declutter these things and you will feel lighter.

14. Go on a date with your husband or one of your kids

If you can’t make it out with your husband, take a kid and peruse the book store and grab a bakery treat. Quality time with the ones you love is always time well spent.

15. Read a book as a family

Some good places to start: The Boxcar Children, My Father’s Dragon, The Magic Tree House Series, Mr. Popper’s Penguins, Winnie-the-Pooh.

16. Find and listen to a podcast

The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey, The Purpose Show, The Next Right Thing, The Good List

17. Ask your kids what they want to do on a Saturday and then do it.

Donuts? Ice skating? A new movie? (Almost) anything goes.

18. Get rid of 20 things right now

Take a garbage bag and go through your home ruthlessly. Place 20 things in the bag, no excuses.

19. Record everything you purchase for a week

Money matters and I believe the only way to know what you’re spending and where you’re spending it is to write it down. I’ve heard good things about the Every Dollar app.

20. Create something

Draw with your kids, take a photograph and frame it, write a letter to a friend, bake some cookies, DIY something, make a meal from scratch. Creation > Consumption

Please don’t go off and think you need to do all these tasks. Choose one or two and see how it goes. If you need something more, do another. I am excited about what this decade will hold. If you decide to do one of these or come up with something on your own…please share in the comments!

Vanessa

Quarterly Goals

A Simpler Motherhood

Resolutions.  Goals.  Mantras.  Plans.  Word of the year.  

There are about a million ways to celebrate the New Year and many of them include some kind of goal making.  Many Americans like to make fitness or work goals.  Others will land on a reading or travel goal.  Still others will make it a goal to learn a new skill or save money.  Whatever the goal, research shows only 8% of Americans actually achieve their New Year’s resolution or goal.  That’s a pretty low number considering all the New Year’s hype.

I don’t have the answer to why New Year’s resolutions don’t stick, but I can guess if other Americans are anything like me, it’s because we get overwhelmed with the prospect of striving to meet a goal for 12 months or 366 days (Did you know 2020 is a leap year??) and then we give up or forget or put it on the back burner.  I can justify some reason to abandon my goal or I can get bored or lazy.  It’s not too hard to give up some arbitrary goal that seems out of reach.

A few years ago around this time my husband and I started making Quarterly Goals.  Every three months or so we sit down, think through, and write out our Quarterly Goals.  We do this together and while it would be nice to have a long, luxurious date to discuss and ponder them, most of the time it’s done over a quick glass of wine after the kids go down for the night. This past year a few quarters were skipped with pregnancy brain and a new baby, but we are back in the saddle and hoping to start 2020 fresh.

Our Quarterly Goal process is pretty straight forward, simple, and has made me more excited about goal setting and motivated me to actually meet my goals.  Here is our fuss-free process.

Quarterly Goals

Sit down and talk.

If you have a spouse, set aside 30 minutes to an hour to discuss your Quarterly Goals for the next three months.  You can also do this with a friend, another family member, or an older child.  We do this in January, April, July, and October.  You can do it at other times if that doesn’t work for you, but basically we do it every three months, give or take.  

If one year goals get you more excited, awesome, go ahead and set that one year goal. Then think, “If I’m going to accomplish ‘X’ over the course of this year, what do I need to accomplish over the next 3 months?”

When we sit down to talk about it, we come having thought a bit beforehand.  We each make two to three goals and then set one goal for each of our kids. This year we will be including Luke (age 7) in his goal. If there are older kids in the house, it makes sense to involve them in the goal making process.

Make the goal specific and actionable.

When making goals we form each goal to be actionable.  For example, one of my goals this spring was to plan school for the summer and fall.  Basically I needed to get our school plan completed before the end of May.  One of Kevin’s goals the past few months has been to run 100 miles by the time we go on vacation.  He is really close to completing his goal and has just a few miles to go.  Make sure you can see the goal in action and it’s specific enough you can see it happening.

Most of us find it easier to conceptualize what we want to accomplish rather than focusing on how we are going to do it. We want smart kids, more financial flexibility, and less flab; but how are we going to accomplish those things.

Some examples:

Instead of Get healthy use Go to the gym 2 days a week for the next 12 weeks.  

Instead of Save money use Put aside 5% of each paycheck into savings.

Instead of Learn more use Read three times a week instead of watching TV at night.

Why Quarterly Goals? There are two really good reasons:

  1. Having a light at the end of the tunnel keeps us motivated to stay on the path.
  2. Ninety days is long enough to form habit.

Understanding how habits are major influences on our life is a key breakthrough in being able to lead a life of intention. I’m not just talking about bad habits like drinking and smoking (while those DEFINITELY count); I’m talking about other not-so-great habits like looking at social media first thing in the morning, buying sweets that weren’t on the grocery list, or (do I dare?) spreading gossip. But this is just a list of what some might say are bad habits. Other habits can be: giving praise to my daughter each time she asks for something politely, doing yoga 5 minutes EVERY morning right after waking, or reading a devotional each night.

Make the goal measurable.

At the end of the three months you should be able to tell, without a doubt, if you met your goal or not.  For example, instead of  the goal: Eat Better. Try the goal: Eat at home 6 nights a week.  It’s a specific, actionable goal and while trying to meet the goal, you have a clear standard on what it looks like and if you meet it or not.  Make the goal measurable.

Ask yourself, “How will I know whether I accomplished this or not?”

Keep one thing in mind, the goal that is measurable might be less inspirational than the intention that came behind it. “Lose 30 pounds” is way more exciting than “abstain from sweets for 90 days”. So, as you identify and progress through your quarterly goal, remind yourself WHY you are doing it; this will help keep you on the path.

Kevin set the goal of running 100 miles in less than 3 months because he was coming off a period of a brand-new-baby-sleep-deprived season and was determined to get back on the path of staying physically active. Because he can only run a few miles at a time, he knew this would require him to run routinely. He knew he would have to run 9.5 miles per week and downloaded an app to make sure he kept himself ahead of the curve. The “why” behind all of this is that he lost quite a bit of weight over the last 5 years and is determined to keep it off for the long haul.

Write down your Quarterly Goals.

You have heard this before, but it’s true.  Write your goals down.  Research done by Dr. Gail Matthews, a psychology professor at the Dominican University in California, found people who write down goals are 42% more likely to achieve them. 

Keep it simple and use your ‘Notes’ app on your phone or go all out with a whiteboard or bullet journaling.  My husband and I use the ‘Notes’ app and I think we will continue logging that way.  I have kept all past goals in there, so it’s interesting to see what we have done and how we can move forward with new goal setting.

Quarterly Goals

Partner with someone. While peer pressure can be harmful for adolescents, it can be hugely beneficial for responsible adults.

Limit Yourself to 1-4 goals. If you set 8 goals, you are more likely to form the habit of not completing your goals. If you are just getting started on this, for the first quarter set three goals you absolutely know you can accomplish; then start ratcheting them up each quarter. Earn the mentality of thinking, “I know I can do this!” Accomplishing goals is a huge booster in confidence and self-esteem, which in turn helps us to accomplish more things in life.

Reflect.

The reason I like Quarterly Goals is because there is a built in time to check in.  At the end of each quarter, meet and discuss the goals from the last three months and set goals for the next three months.  There have been times I continue with a goal for another three months, but that only happens once in awhile.  Reflection on how it went will keep you accountable and help you decide what should come next.

My Quarterly Goals

Because telling the internet your goals really helps with accountability, I’m going to share mine for the next three months with you.  

  1.  Read one book a month for myself. My first one is going to be Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng. These will come next: Atomic Habits by James Clear and The Life Giving Home by Sally Clarkson.
  2. Get current with each of my kids’ yearly Shutterfly books.
  3. Eat through our freezer and pantry and use a budget of $150/week on groceries.

These goals are specific, actionable and measurable.  I will take these goals and make sure they play out in my daily life.  Reading will be added the downtime I have during nap time. Working on each child’s Shutterfly books will be on my to-do list at least once each week and my weekly meal plan will include meals inspired by what is in our freezer and pantry.

Potential Categories of Quarterly Goals:

Diet

Exercise

Faith and devotion

Parenting and Marriage

Career

Hobby or Travel

Financial

Household

Friends and Mentors

It may not be wise to set goals for each category each quarter, but it helps to consider them in deciding which goals to make a priority.

That’s it for Quarterly Goal Setting.  Tell me, are you a Resolution Setter?  How do you set goals for the coming year? 

Vanessa

How to Savor Christmas Break

A Simpler Motherhood

Christmas is just around the corner, which means Christmas break is here! These two weeks can be full of glorious, relaxing picture-perfect moments and also ‘I’m bored’ and ‘Can I watch a show?’ and ‘I want a snack’ moments. Christmas break is not exclusive to one or the other. In the midst of this magical live-in-jammies time of year, there are some ways I want to savor Christmas break with my people.

Have a DO NOTHING Day.

I put this one first because it’s my favorite. Protect one day of break and plan absolutely nothing. Let the day unfold however it may. Maybe that means heading to a movie, baking some cookies, or just hanging on the couch in pajamas. I am all in for this one.

Make a blanket fort and indulge in a movie and popcorn.

This is on my list for our break. We may even do it at 10:00 in the morning. There is nothing better than a movie and popcorn in pajamas. Yes, please.

Let the kids have a day.

Set aside a day for the kids to set the agenda. Sometimes I get so excited planning what we are or aren’t going to do, that I forget to include the kids in the decision making. Letting the kids set the agenda gives them some power and helps them practice decision making and compromise with siblings.

Read a new book together.

Check a book out at the library and spend some time each day reading as a family. Sarah MacKenzie over at Read Aloud Revival has incredible booklists you can get at this link. My favorite list is First Novels to Read Aloud. A few I would add to this list that we have loved as a family: The Boxcar Children and The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. Choose a book and snuggle up on the couch every night during break for some built in quality time.

Choose a drawer or a room in the house to purge and organize.

The days following Christmas can be the perfect time for a good purge (or if you’re reading this before Christmas, how about a Pre-Christmas Purge?). I am excited to do this with my people. I am planning on tackling the basement closets and our master bathroom. A good purge always leaves me feeling accomplished, even if I only have 15 minutes to dedicate to it.

Do something you have been wanting to do for awhile.

A museum? Ice skating? Trampoline park? Sleepover in the living room? Make it happen over break.

Get outside.

This is simple and maybe not always easy, but everyone feels better with a walk or 30 minute break at the park. It also makes the day go a lot smoother since the kids are able to ‘get the wiggles out’. Getting outside during Christmas break could save us, friends.

This Christmas break doesn’t have to be full of meltdowns and marathon snacks (although it certainly might be). I think there are ways we can savor Christmas Break with our babes without losing our sanity. Tell me: What are your plans for Christmas break?

Vanessa

A Simpler Christmas

A Simpler Motherhood

The Christmas season is in full swing with Thanksgiving behind us and, just like that, December is here.  It truly is a magical time of year.  A few years ago I was met with the dilemma of being very pregnant with two babes, little energy and the same four weeks in front of me.  I decided to simplify our Christmas season while holding tight to the joy and magic.  Friends, it was one of the best things I have done as a mom. I learned a lot that year about how I wanted Christmas to look and feel and have tweaked it each Christmas. Here are some ways I have found to A Simpler Christmas…

Simpler Fashion

Dressing myself and four children during the holidays is no joke.  When we are going to a fun Christmas event or party, I want us to look somewhat presentable, even if it’s inevitable I won’t get a picture of all of them looking at the camera.  This year I have two to three outfits picked out for each of us for this season.  Think Christmas Capsule.  Luke and Jude have a few shirts, a sweater and jeans and Lily a few dresses.  Jack has two festive outfits to wear to fun Christmas-y things. I have a few tops paired with jeans or leggings and one dress for more formal gatherings.  Kevin is on his own, because he always looks good and selecting male clothing is not my gift.  A Christmas capsule eliminates sifting through closets on Saturday mornings in December.

Simpler Gifting

If you’ve been following along on Instagram, you know I am done Christmas shopping! I set a goal in My Christmas Plan to be done shopping by December 1. I am a week late, but I made it!

This year I simplified gifting by shopping online as much as possible as well as think about gifting similar gifts to groups of people.  For example, I am giving one simple gift to all of Luke, Lily, and Jude’s church teachers and some groups of girlfriends. I want people to feel loved and appreciated this season, but I think it can be done in a way that doesn’t bring bunches of stress to the giver.

If you want more ideas, head to my post on 3 Ways to Simplify Christmas Gifting.

Simpler Decorating

We are a family who bundles up, trudges out to a tree farm, and chooses a Christmas tree to cut down.  It’s one of my favorite traditions we have as a family of six.  After cutting down the tree, we spend the rest of the day pulling out ornaments and lights and decorating the tree and the rest of the house.  It is a fun day and usually ends with something slow cooking in the oven, crusty bread, and hot chocolate. We did this thing last weekend and it was a little bit magical.

The easiest and most straight forward way I have found to simplify decorating is this: Use less stuff.

As our kids have gotten older, they have wanted to help with making our home look like a winter wonderland.  I try as hard as I can to give my Type-A personality the back seat and let the kids drive the decorating.  We get done what we can on decorating day and let the rest wait until another time or never.

The year our house was under renovation and I was pregnant, I cut back on decorating a ton.  And you know what, it was still magical and the kids still had a wonderful Christmas.  I have found twinkle lights do wonders and the kids each have their own special decorations that make it more magical for them.

Candles, fresh flowers and greens, and dishes filled with candy are simple things I do around Christmas to make our home a bit more festive.  And a bonus, I don’t have to store them away when the new year rolls around. Check out more about Simplifying Holiday Decorating in this post.

Simpler Advent Calendar

Lucky for me, I have a seven year old this year.  He doesn’t let me even think about forgetting the Advent calendar.  Mommas of super littles, someday you will have a little person to keep you on track (whether you want them to or not).

Our advent calendar this year looks similar to the past few years.  I decided on three random acts of kindness and the rest of the days are filled with simple things like ‘have a pajama day’, ‘make cookies’, ‘sip hot cocoa’, ‘watch a Christmas movie’.  The week of Thanksgiving I planned our countdown to Christmas activities by looking at things we already had on the calendar.  There are many nights I will do some late night switching because I realize we just aren’t going to ‘make cookies’ the next day.

I use this super simple Advent calendar to help us remember everyday the ‘why’ behind Christmas.

Tip: If you aren’t into Advent calendars or it’s just going to stress you out, it’s more than okay to say no to this one.

Fewer Gifts

If you follow this blog, you know we try and limit the amount of stuff coming into our home if we can help it.  Toys, too.  Two of our kids have birthdays in November, so they are already overloaded with stuff come Christmas.  Sometime before Luke was born I found a Christmas gift idea on Pinterest that included four gifts: something to wear, something to read, something you want, something you need.  We did this for a few years and while it seems simple enough, there were times Luke didn’t need anything to wear or there wasn’t anything he needed and it made it tough because I felt like I was buying things unnecessarily.

My mother-in-law told me about giving three gifts to each child to represent how Jesus received three gifts.  That is what we have done the past several years. Each kid will receive three gifts, no guidelines involved, just three gifts. They will also get their stockings filled with small consumables like new toothbrushes and a magazine to read on Christmas day (a new tradition this year).  This simple way of doing Christmas has worked well for us.  A bonus: Luke and Lily have picked up on this tradition.  They know they get three gifts and can tell us the exact gifts they want under the Christmas tree.

Margin on the Calendar

After a full fall, I have been wanting to create some margin on our calendar for this fun season.

In November, Kevin and I sat down and discussed what made Christmas feel like Christmas.  For me it is cutting down the tree, going to Lauritzen Gardens and the Durham Museum to see Santa.  It is having lots of time at home to watch Christmas movies, sing Christmas songs, make cookies and drink hot cocoa. Kevin simply said being home on Christmas together and giving things to people who need them. We also included the kids in it this year. Luke said he wants to build a snowman (come on snow!) and Lily says she wants to build a gingerbread house. Jude just said choo-choos and, lucky for us, we have lots of Christmas train options in Omaha.

Kevin and I sat down and mapped our Christmas season on the calendar and put in all the big things and little things.  This helps us visualize the month and also allows us to see if it’s all doable.

Since November, lots of fun, exciting things have come up to do or go to.  We have said ‘yes’ to some of them, but ‘no’ to lots of them.  It is oh so hard for me to say no to good, fun things, but I know if I want this season to be beautiful for my family, I must do it.

A last caveat to this…when I see a family on Facebook or Instagram doing something totally Christmas-y I…#1 do my best to not feel guilty about not doing said activity and #2 promise myself I will not add that incredible tradition to our plate this year.  Every family is different and none of us can do it all.

Simpler Mealtimes

We still have to eat!  Even in this full season, my people still need to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  Madness.  Meal planning will save me this month.  Even though it’s tempting to put planning dinner on the back burner, I know I will pay for it if I don’t.  Soups and crock pot meals are my go to during this full Christmas season.  And no leftovers go to waste.  Some of my favorite meals I will be making this month: chili, change your life chicken, white chicken chili, and tacos (always tacos).

Giving Myself Grace

Christmas is one of my favorite times of the year and I want to take in as much as possible and enjoy the magic and wonder that fills December.  I love to read a Christmas book and watch Christmas movies on the couch cuddled under a blanket with a cup of peppermint hot cocoa.  I am giving myself permission and grace to do this the next few weeks during nap time or at night after the kids go to bed.  Besides, this season only comes around once a year.

As one of the best seasons comes to life around us, I want to slow down, take it in, and make as many memories as possible.  They may not be picture perfect and there might be tears intertwined with those memories because #life, but I’m thankful for this Christmas season nonetheless. Keeping it simple can help keep in focus the real reason for the season: the baby born to save the world.

Merry Christmas, everyone!  I hope your Christmas is merry, bright, and simple!