A Simpler Motherhood

Category: A Simpler Motherhood

Vanessa

Celebrate the Dads

A Simpler Motherhood

When I was a little girl, my dad was my hero. I remember thinking of him as bigger than life. My dad worked hard for our family: in his career as a social worker, reffing and umping games, and teaching classes on the weekends to be sure we had everything we needed. My dad was my coach, the one who took me to the YMCA multiple times a week so I could practice my dribbling and shooting. If you asked me then why my dad was my hero I would have told you it’s because he was the biggest, best dad in the world and he taught me everything I know about sports (which was a pretty big deal in elementary school). As I reminisce about my childhood, I remember sitting on my Dad’s lap and feeling like it was the safest place in the world.

Fast forward to today. I get to bear witness to another great Dad. This one is the father to my children. The one whom I get to do life with. He is the kind of Dad who makes big breakfasts in the morning: eggs and sausages and waffles. On Sunday evenings he is in the grass playing soccer with our kids, helping them understand how to win and lose. He takes time to have real conversations with each of our babes, talking to them about Star Wars or baby animals or soccer or trains or Teslas. Kevin is the constant calm in our family. (I have so much to learn from him.) I get to see the Dad to my kids do the hard work of raising them: being firm with consequences, showing grace for mistakes, and asking for forgiveness when he needs to.

Dads Matter

I tell you about two of the Dads in my life because they matter. My Dad mattered to my childhood and still shows me love and grace today. The Dad to my kids is helping to raise the next generation and is an incredible example of a strong, loving father. Let’s celebrate the Dads because their impact on our world is great and they are doing incredibly important work in our homes each and every day. Let’s Celebrate the Dads.

5 Ways to Celebrate Dads

Show Dad appreciation.

Everyone wants to know they are appreciated. Dads, too. Let’s show Dad he is appreciated by communicating gratitude. Whether in the form of a card, note, poem, song, or simply a ‘Thanks, Dad’. Gratitude is never wasted and showing the Dad in your life he is appreciated will remind him why he does what he does every single day.

Show Dad his value.

The garden beds that took Dad an entire weekend to build. The 9-5 day job he lives to support his family. Dad’s never ending energy when it comes to wrestling with the kids or kicking the soccer ball or giving piggy back rides. The way he speaks life over the family at the dinner table, in the car, or playing a board game. The Dad jokes and puns that seem to be endless. How he gives of himself day in and day out to love his family well.

Dads bring immense value to our families. Point out the everyday things Dad does to make a difference. Kids can draw a picture depicting their favorite thing to do with Dad. Moms can write a note pointing out the extraordinary traits that make him a good Dad. Grown daughters and sons can tell their Dad the value he has added to their life in a conversation or in the form of a letter. Dads are valuable: let’s tell them.

Show Dad respect.

If you haven’t noticed, respect seems to be a big thing for Dads. They were created to long for it. Let’s show Dad respect by taking time to listen to his words (when he actually talks). Let’s take a minute when he leaves for the day or when he comes home and acknowledge him with a kiss or a hug. When Dad has a request, let’s try and honor it. Let’s do our best to avoid complaining and using sarcasm when we are having a discussion. For an extra special treat on Father’s Day, let’s actually laugh at his jokes. Respect is high on the list for what Dads want for Father’s Day, even if they don’t know it.

Show Dad care.

Even Dads like to be taken care of every once in awhile. Every Dad is different, so take some time to think about what would make the Dad in your life feel cared for. Is it an afternoon to play golf or time to go on a bike ride? Maybe it’s just asking: What can I do for you today? It could be as simple as making his favorite meal, dressing up, and putting flowers on the table. Think about what makes the Dad in your life feel cared for and make it happen.

Show Dad love.

This is the easiest way to Celebrate Dads. Let’s show Dad some love this Father’s Day. A love note is a good place to start along with hugs, kisses, and cuddles. Maybe give him space and time for his hobby without complaining. Line up a babysitter and surprise him with a date night. Gift him with the fancy BBQ sauce or golf club or tool he has been wanting for some time. Simply tell him you love him. Let’s show Dad we love him in a big way this Father’s Day.

Let’s Celebrate the Dads this Father’s Day. Tell me: how will you celebrate the Dad in your life?

Vanessa

Summer Reading List

A Simpler Motherhood

Many of us (want to) read more in the summertime. The warm, sunny days beckon us to the deck with a good book and a cold drink. Today I want to share my short Summer Reading List with you.

Summer Reading List

The Enchanted Hour by Meghan Cox Gordon

This has been on my TBR list for awhile. If you have read The Read Aloud Family by Sarah Mackenzie and loved it, this could be your next read. The Enchanted Hour speaks to the power of reading aloud. This will be one I listen to on Audible this summer.

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig

The Midnight Library has incredible reviews, like really really good ones. It’s a story of a fictional library: one with an infinite number of books, each with a different reality of a person’s life. This book sounds incredibly entertaining and hopeful and I’m excited to get lost in it this summer. I’m on a wait list for it at our local library.

Free to Learn by Peter Gray

I recently read (listened) to The Five Hour School Week by Kaleena and Aaron Amuchastegui. It opened my eyes to how school can look and feel differently for families. Kaleena recommended Free to Learn and I am planning to give it a listen this summer.

Adventuring Together by Greta Eskridge

After our Intentional Living Experiment, I have seen the value of exploring together as a family. I’m intrigued to know Greta’s take on adventuring and how to incorporate it more into our daily lives.

The Four Winds by Kristin Hannah

I love everything Kristin Hannah writes. Everything. Her new novel, The Four Winds, released in February. I cannot wait to get my hands on it. I’m waiting to be up on the hold list at our local library (I’m number 27 in the queue). Fingers crossed, I will get to read it before the end of summer.

I’m always looking for new book recommendations. What is on your Summer Reading List?

Vanessa

10 Ways to Prep for Summer

A Simpler Childhood, A Simpler Motherhood

We’ve already talked Tips for A Simpler Summer. Our expectations are in check. We have a plan, automated the boring stuff, and fun is at the top of our to-do list. Our next step is prepping the practical stuff. The snacks, the clothes, the meals.

Each summer brings a brand new two and a half months (or three if you’re lucky) full of possibilities.

My mom had a daycare in our house when we were kids so she could stay home with us. During the summer months our home was full of playmates and our backyard housed an above ground pool. Many summers of my childhood were spent swimming around that oval body of water, water wings tight around my arms, basking in the sun. My mom had to be on top of it with all the towels and snacks and pool after nap time routine. Her ship ran smoothly (most days) and it was because she was prepared.

Today we are going to get practical and prep for summer so we can prepare for all the fun that lies ahead. Every item on this list isn’t for every family. Pick and choose what works for you as you prep for summer and add or subtract as needed.

10 Ways to Prep for Summer

#1 Stock up on snacks and create a grab and go cabinet.

Snacks can make or break our summer. I know that’s being dramatic, but there is truth in it. Let’s stock up on snacks and create a grab and go cabinet where snacks are easily accessible for adults and kids (if you want that). We don’t do a lot of snacks at home, but I have a cabinet that’s ready to go when we are heading out the door for a morning playdate or trip to our local swimming hole. Stocking up on snacks will ensure we’re always ready for the neighborhood kids stopping by or an impromptu trip to the pool.

#2 Curate a summer capsule wardrobe for your kids.

Kids don’t wear a lot of clothes in the summer, at least mine don’t. A summer capsule makes dressing them a lot simpler. In our family, each kid has enough clothes so they don’t run out and that’s pretty much it. Shorts and tops are interchangeable and each kid’s sandals go with everything. If clothes are taking over your home, consider cutting back.

Each of our kids’ closets house enough clothes for about a week and a half and that works well for us. In your home it may be more or less. Laundry is inevitable, but how much laundry we have is up to us.

#3 Finally make the chore chart happen.

Chores help kids feel like part of the family and teach them responsibility. Chores also take a few things off our plate. If you’ve been on the fence about a chore chart, try one out this summer. Think through 5 chores that are developmentally appropriate for each of your kids. Check out this list for ideas. Create a chart and try it out.

Our family’s system is simple. My two oldest kids have 5 chores to complete and my four year old has three. Each morning they complete a chore and mark it off. When all the chores are marked off, they receive three dollars. One dollar to save, one dollar to tithe, and one dollar to spend. Then the chart starts all over again.

The most important thing I’ve learned when it comes to chore charts is: keep it simple. If it’s too complicated, it will get purposefully forgotten before the first week is over.

#4 Make outdoor play accessible.

We have a fence around our backyard for a reason. For the same reason, there is a tub outside housing all the outdoor playthings. Make outdoor play accessible for your kids this summer. Make it easy for them to run out the door, without you, if they’re old enough.

If you don’t have a fence and don’t want to build one, talk about boundaries and expectations and spend the first week teaching your kids what playing outside looks like without Mom. If you don’t have a place for all the outdoor toys, make one. An old bucket, bin, or tote will do the trick. House sunscreen by the door to remind them and you to apply before heading into the sunshine.

Outdoor play is incredibly valuable for our kids, so let’s make it accessible this summer.

#5 Make a list of 10 go to summer meals.

I have a love/dislike relationship with cooking in the summer. Give me all the fresh ingredients from the garden and the yummy fruits and veggies from our Old Tree Farm CSA. However, I really wish I could avoid spending time in the kitchen when I could be outside. Making a list of 10 go to summer meals that don’t require hours in the kitchen saves me in the summer. Tacos, air fryer chicken tenders and CSA veggies, crock pot pork carnitas, brats and veggies on the grill, clean out the fridge night. Make a list of 10 go to summer meals so you can spend less time in the kitchen and more time with your people.

#6 Have a swim bag at the ready.

Whether you are heading to the nearest pool, lake, or swimming hole, have a swim bag at the ready. Place towels, sunscreen, swim diapers, and water and sand toys in the bag so it’s always ready to go. After a day at our local swimming hole, I wash everything and put it straight back into the swim bag. No more searching for towels when we are trying to walk out the door.

#7 Create a laundry routine.

Is it just me or is there more laundry in the summer? Swimsuits and towels, I’m looking at you. Create a laundry routine that serves your family’s needs. I throw a load of laundry in everyday and in the summer, usually it’s two. This routine helps me keep up with allll the laundry coming at me on a daily basis. Maybe doing a load a day isn’t feasible for you. Decide what few days of the week you will do laundry and stick to it. Creating a laundry routine will ease the pain of laundry this summer.

#8 Manage the family calendar.

Summer may be slower or fuller depending on kid sports, vacations, and family and friend gatherings. With things opening back up more, we may feel a bit overwhelmed in a good way (I’m raising my hand here). Before we are in the full heat of summer, let’s look at our calendars and be sure we have all our ducks in a row. I use Apple Calendar as well as a visual monthly family calendar from Circle and Square.

My husband and I recently sat down to go through our summer calendar. We got on the same page for specific dates this summer: a second birthday celebration for Jack, a state fair visit (fingers crossed), Summer U for the kids, extended family gatherings, a possible weekend getaway for us to celebrate our anniversary. We mapped it out together and now we are both clear on what our summer looks like.

On a micro level, my husband and I also sit down on Sunday afternoons to plan the week ahead. It takes about ten to twenty minutes and ensures we both know what is going down the next 7 days.

It doesn’t matter if you are a paper or paperless kind of girl when it comes to the calendar, simply taking the time to plug things in to know what’s coming will be helpful in prepping for summer.

#9 Prep for summer and purge the school stuff.

I know it’s daunting to think of going through backpacks and bedrooms to sort alllll the things from the past school year, but I promise it will be worth it. Empty backpacks, the back seat, the dining room table, the bedrooms and recycle or store papers and projects from this past school year. When we do this, it makes space for all the fun things coming this summer. Enlist your kids to help decide what stays and what gets recycled.

And let’s remember: If everything is special, nothing is. (This is hard for me, too.)

#10 Make space.

You may love summer or you may find it incredibly hard. Whichever camp you lie in, be sure to make space to replenish your energy. I promise, you will be a better mom for it. Create a rhythm of taking time for yourself each day and each week. It could look like a morning walk or gazing at the sunrise before your kids are awake. Maybe it’s calling a friend or reading a book during quiet time in the afternoons. It might be sitting on the porch after the kids are in bed or taking a bath each night. Make space to fill your cup so you’re able to pour into your family this summer. It matters because you matter.

Let’s be sure we prep for summer so we are ready for all the fun it has to offer. What will you do to prep for summer?

Vanessa

Tips for A Simpler Summer

A Simpler Childhood, A Simpler Motherhood

Can you believe it? Sunshine and warmer days are ahead. Summertime ushers in kids at home, pool days, starry nights, staying up late and sleeping in, and the slower (or faster) pace the season brings.

The summers of my childhood were magical. Bike riding up and down every alley and side street, creating a carnival for the neighborhood kids, Little House on the Prairie marathons, swimming and coming home with a sunburned nose. Yes, my childhood summers were dreamy. And while I didn’t fully know it then, those summers were such an incredible gift. The time, space, and freedom to discover things about myself is something I will forever be grateful for.

I’m sure my childhood summers held more than idyllic, dreamy moments. However, my brain chooses to remember the magical parts instead of the quarrels with siblings or the extra chores I picked up those three months. And that’s exactly the point. There was enough good and beautiful in those summers for me to remember the good and beautiful. The rest of it falls away. The same applies for our kids: Let’s put in as much good and beautiful as we can. With fingers crossed and lots of prayers, our mistakes and mishaps and the not-so-fun-stuff will fall away and the good and beautiful will remain.

a simpler summer

We have 18 summers with our kids in our homes. Let’s make them whimsical, fun, and full of wonder and beauty. We don’t have to plan it all out or have extravagant craft projects or sign them up for every camp on God’s green earth. Although those can certainly be part of it. We simply need to give them space and opportunities to experience the freedom and beauty of summertime.

My hope for my family this summer is to strip it down. Let go of the expectations, the schedules (pray for me), the rigidity and embrace the essence of summer. Let’s talk today about ways we can make this a simpler summer – one that’s filled with all the good things and the memories to go with them.

Tips for A Simpler Summer

Check your expectations.

Expectations can make or break us. Like Goldilocks, we don’t want our expectations to be too high or too low. We want them to be (say it with me) just right. And speaking from experience, if we error one way or the other, let’s error on the low expectation end. Let’s be realistic about our expectations this summer. It will be loud. It will be messy. Chances are it will be chaotic at times. But, if our expectations are in the right place, it will be good, incredibly good. I’m preaching to my own choir here and telling myself I need to check my expectations this summer.

Have a plan.

Whether it’s a menu concept, bucket list, or go with the flow attitude, have a plan. Enlist your kids’ help and create a plan on how you want the summer to look. Kendra Adachi has a Lazy Genius principle of Decide Once. Is there a rhythm for your summer you can decide once on? Slow mornings and pool afternoons? Every Wednesday a playdate? Babysitter help one day a week? Library Mondays? A quiet time each afternoon? Will planning or packing lunches each day be helpful? Having a plan doesn’t mean you need to plan out each day to the hour, but deciding once on a few pieces of your summer rhythm can make your summer simpler.

What is important to you? What will make your summer days run smoother? How will you keep yourself and your kids in a healthy mental space?

Have a Plan and Decide once for A Simpler Summer.

Automate the boring stuff.

Summer can be slower or fuller, depending on the calendar. Whichever way the pendulum swings, it’s beneficial to automate the boring stuff to give us more time with our people. Automate the groceries, the bills, the toilet paper delivery.

If you’re automating groceries, choose 10 meals you will cook this summer and rotate through them each week. Make a list of the grocery items you need and put them on a list, so you know exactly what to order and then pick up each week. Popsicles, check. Hamburgers, check. Fresh fruit, check check.

Automate cleaning and paper products as well with Grove Co. or Amazon Subscribe and Save. You will never be in a pinch again for toilet paper with automated delivery.

If you’re automating bills, set up bill pay for each and every bill possible. This has saved our family countless hours and ensures each bill is paid on time.

What is one thing you can automate today to make room for A Simpler Summer?

Build in fun everyday.

Be sure to have fun everyday. Whether it’s saying ‘yes’ to the sprinkler, making ice cream sundaes for lunch, spending 10 minutes looking up funny jokes, or going on a family bike ride, make sure you have fun everyday. Believe me when I say, I know this is easier said than done. But, BUT we have 18 summers with our kids, so let’s make this one fun.

A Simpler Summer is possible with a little intentionality, planning, and fun. How will you make room for A Simpler Summer?

Vanessa

Doing with Less

A Simpler Home, A Simpler Motherhood

If you’ve read or listened to anything about simplicity you have probably heard the saying: Less is More. And as much as it sounds cliche and overused and redundant, I’ve seen it ring true. Doing with Less or the Less is More concept has transformed our family: moving from living life as overwhelmed consumers to living life with less stuff in our homes and on our calendar.

Doing with Less is a mindset shift that affects almost every area of our lives. It’s a shift in thinking: I want this or I think I need this to Can I do without it? It’s having less inventory in our homes so we can spend more time with the people in them. It’s keeping things that bring us joy on the calendar and letting go of the rest so we can spend more time doing the things we actually want to do with the people we want to do them with. It’s getting down to the basics so life can be more abundant and intentional.

We were never meant to live life accumulating stuff. We were meant to live simply enjoying the experiences of life, the people of life, and the journey of life – not the things of life.

Joshua Becker

Doing with Less

Our family has been on a slow journey towards Doing with Less the past 8 or so years. It’s something I began when I was feeling bored and overwhelmed as a mom with littles (can both those things be true at the same time?). The past several years my simplicity journey has changed me, challenged me, stretched me, and given our family a life I never dreamed possible.

With God in the lead, my husband and I have slowly created a life we love. Although our lifestyle is specific to us and our values and preferences might not be for everyone, it is exactly the life we have hoped to live. Simplicity has allowed us to travel extensively with our four kids. It’s allowed us to homeschool. Simplicity has given us the freedom to focus on the things most important to us: our faith and each other. There is less stuff in the way of the things that matter to us. Doing with less has given us more life.

Why do we Do with Less?

Our family tries to Do with Less because it allows us to be good stewards of our resources and use them for the things most important to us. When our house is (mostly) clear of clutter, it requires less cleaning, less pick up, which in turn gives us more time to do the things that matter. It also removes visual clutter which can lead to unnecessary stress. Less clutter in our homes leads to more time and more life. When we aren’t constantly purchasing items or looking for items to purchase, we have more to give and more resources to go towards living our dream of traveling with our family.

What does Doing with Less look like for us?

For our family, Doing with Less is a mindset.

Instead of thinking: I need to keep this item, just in case. We think: Can I do without this item?

Instead of thinking: There’s no harm in keeping it, we have the room. We think: Could someone else get value from it instead of it sitting in a cabinet somewhere collecting dust?

Instead of thinking: Can I afford this new thing or when can I buy this new thing? We think: Will this new thing truly add value to our lives?

Instead of thinking: I’m not sure I want to do this thing, but I should. We think: Do I want to do this thing? Am I being called to do this thing? Will this thing be using my gifts to bring value to my family, my community, or the world?

We are human and we mess up and make mistakes. Even though Doing with Less has become almost automated, we still get caught up in our consumer driven world. However, there is grace and we do the best we can to be intentional about Doing with Less.

Take Action

Now that you’ve heard what Doing with Less looks like for our family, is it something you want to try? Your lifestyle will, of course, look different than our’s because everyone has different values and preferences. But if you want to Do with Less, here are a few action steps you can take to move in that direction.

Action Step #1: Name your why.

Get clear on why you want to Do with Less. Is it more time? More money? Is it more specific? Maybe you want more time to serve your favorite nonprofit or more money to save for your kids’ college? Maybe you just want to be able to breathe a little easier in your home because you feel overwhelmed with the stuff inside it. Or maybe you want to be present more and your stuff and commitments are getting in the way. Whatever the reason for wanting to Do with Less, get clear on it now. When we know and name our why, it will help us stay on the path to Doing with Less, especially when things get hard.

Action Step #2: Choose one way to do with less.

Choose one way to Do with Less. Maybe it’s decluttering your home or maybe it’s decluttering your calendar. Choose a mindset shift to go with it. Create a question or value statement to help you navigate.

If your mindset shift is decluttering or simplifying your home, questions could be: Does this item bring me joy? Can I do without this item? Does this item add value to my life? Use your chosen question(s) to navigate decluttering a drawer, a room, or your entire home.

If your mindset shift is decluttering your calendar it could be: Does this event bring our family connection? Does this commitment use our gifts to serve others well? Does this event or commitment add value to our lives? Every event or commitment on the calendar can go through one or all of these questions to see if it needs to stay or if it’s something to let go.

Choose one way to Do with Less.

Action Step #3: Get started.

Doing with Less is a journey. Our family has been on it for a long while and we are still walking it. Make a decision to take the first step.

If you’re choosing to declutter your home, start with a drawer, the bathroom, or your car. Or maybe you are super motivated and want to begin with one room. Go you!

If you’re choosing to declutter the calendar, begin by taking one activity or commitment off the calendar this summer. Or take it a step further and decide to say ‘no’ to every request for one month until you can get clear on what matters and where you want to spend your time.

Simply start. It will require action and some hard work, but getting started is the hardest part. Once you dig in and get moving, your progress will propel you forward.

Doing with Less is not something that will happen overnight. It will require small changes, tweaks, and edits. But in my experience, the journey is worth the work. Doing with less will give you more time, money, and energy for the things that matter to you and your family. What is one step you can take today to Do with Less?

Vanessa

Let’s Talk About You

A Simpler Motherhood

Let’s talk about you. Mother’s Day is less than a week away and I want to take a moment to recognize Moms. Working moms and stay at home moms. New moms and grandma moms. Moms to biological babies. Moms to babies who come from another body. Single moms and married moms. Moms who have never held a baby of their own, but care for others day in and day out. Women who are waiting to be moms. Moms who are in their last years on earth. Moms who have a lot of life ahead of them. All moms. Let’s talk about you.

Let’s Talk About You

It’s 4:00, witching hour or better labeled: mom-wants-to-crawl-in-a-closet hour. You read books, you push swings, you prep dinner in between. As a toddler holds tight to your legs and looks up at you with bright blue eyes, you fold laundry. You kiss owies and hold hands and don’t lose your ever loving mind. Or maybe you do.

You’re a good mom.

Your son walks in the door. He asks, no pleads, to go to the game even though he’s grounded for not completing his chores last week. You say no, he pleads some more. You say no again. He makes promises and then asks again. You say no. Or maybe you say yes.

You’re a good mom.

Your daughter has relapsed once more. You can’t wrap your head around the number of times you have picked her up, bailed her out, wiped her tears, pulled her from the ashes. You’re weary and on your knees and begging God for healing and a new beginning. She calls, crying, and wants you to pick her up from a house you know is infested with all the wrong things. You tell her no. Or maybe you tell her yes.

You’re a good mom.

It’s the end of a hard practice and your girls huddle up. You encourage and challenge them. They head to the locker room, all except one. A sophomore lingers and asks to sit beside you. She divulges a few things going on at home. Hard things. You listen. And then you give her advice or a hug or offer her a ride home or ask if she’s okay if you talk to her parents. Or maybe you simply listen.

You’re a good mom.

The sun sets on another day. You cover your shoulders with a blanket as you wander from the front porch inside to the easy chair. You glance at the chair beside your’s, empty for almost ten years now. The saying: time is a thief echos in your mind. The phone rings and it’s your granddaughter. You sit down and listen to her chatter about her classes, her boyfriend, and some new app she wants you to download so you can ‘connect more’. A smile lingers on your face and you thank God for this moment and this girl you love so much. You pull out your phone to download the app. Or maybe you fall asleep trying.

You’re a good mom.

Wherever you’re at in your motherhood journey: praying for a baby, just getting started, in the teen years, or your babies aren’t babies anymore, my prayer for you is this:

May you know deep in your being and see clearly the impact you have on your children, your family, and the world. May you celebrate the wins in motherhood and give yourself grace for the losses. I pray you see yourself through your children’s eyes, if only for a moment. May you believe there is no other person more capable of being your child’s mom than you. Above all, I pray you know you are loved, cherished, and deemed worthy by the God of the universe.

Cheers to you, Momma! I hope you feel loved and celebrated this Mother’s Day and everyday. And if you want a little more encouragement, check out Moms Matter (because you do).

Vanessa

What I’m Loving for Mother’s Day

A Simpler Motherhood

Mother’s Day is close. It’s the day we celebrate the women in our lives: the do-ers, the listeners, the owie kissers, the dinner makers, the ones who make everything better with a smile, a hug, or simply their presence. Moms are special, important people and as Cardinal Mermillod said so truthfully:

A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take.

Cardinal Mermillod

And when I say mothers, I’m also talking about women who may not be biological moms. There are plenty of women out there loving, mentoring, and guiding others in a motherly way. It’s your Mother’s Day, too.

Today I’m sharing some gifts I am loving for Mother’s Day. These are gifts I would love for myself and also gifts I think would be great for friends, moms, grandmothers, and mentors. Here is what I’m Loving for Mother’s Day:

What I’m Loving for Mother’s Day

Some Green

It’s the time of year for some green. Whether the woman in your life likes succulents, herbs, or some bright and colorful blooms, you can create a pot that meets each and every preference. Try Trader Joe’s or your local garden shop for some pretty green things. Check out Miranda’s plant projects for more inspiration.

Some Pretty

I can’t not mention all the pretty things over at Charli Dean Designs. Pick up a gift certificate, find some dainty earrings, or have Paige create something custom for the special mom in your life. I am a big fan of my hexagon earrings (fun fact: they are called Vanessa). Paige is currently creating a custom order for me and I can’t wait to see how everything turns out!

Some Time

If you’re a woman, you know being surrounded by supportive friends and family is vital to living a good life. Make time to nurture friendships this Mother’s Day. If you’re a mom with littles, ask your husband or a babysitter to watch the kids so you can have coffee with a friend. If you’re a mom with older kids, ask for some one-on-one time with a child or the mom or mentor in your life. Any and all moms can gather girlfriends for a brunch or a walk or whatever fills you up. Friendship is such a gift.

Some Books

If you like to read or know a mom who does, books are such great gifts. I am a lover of words and books bring me great joy. Some great books to gift this Mother’s Day: Mom Heart Moments, Minimalist Moms, Growing Boldly, Present Over Perfect, The Next Right Thing, The Lazy Genius Way, Rhythms of Renewal. If you want to make the gift extra special, include coffee from a local coffee shop and chocolate.

Some Lovely

It’s always nice to receive something special, something we wouldn’t buy for ourselves. The hand poured candle, the special jewelry, the facial, the big bouquet of fresh flowers, the extravagant chocolates, the fun kitchen towel. Make the day special for the mom in your life by picking up something she wouldn’t buy for herself. It will make her feel extra special and it will be a gift she will truly be excited to receive.

Mother’s Day is the one day a year set aside to celebrate the women who have raised us, the women who have loved us, and the women who keep showing up for us. How will you celebrate the mom in your life?

Vanessa

What I’m Loving this Spring

A Simpler Motherhood

There is nothing more lovely than the promise of spring. And I think we are all more than ready for her this year. The green grass, sunshine-y days, the fresh air, the blue speckled eggs in nests, the hope of longer days. We have been outside bunches to pull away the old brown from last year and ready the ground for the beauty of green shoots and new life. It’s the best. Here is what I’m loving this spring…

What I’m Loving

Walking

After being away for an Intentional Living Experiment and walking everyday, I decided it needs to become part of my rhythm when we returned home. Although I had aspirations to walk everyday, that hasn’t quite been a reality. However, I have been walking a few times a week, one evening with a friend. I can’t explain it other than to say it makes me feel more like me and helps me be a better mom and wife. Since we live on a gravel road, it can be a bit complicated to figure out where to walk, but making it happen has absolutely been worth it.

What I'm Loving in April

Minimalist Moms

If you haven’t listened to the Minimalist Moms Podcast, you are missing out. Diane has engaging guests and approaches minimalism in a real way for moms with littles and pets and a spouse and soccer practice and all the things. Her book, Minimalist Moms, recently released and I am loving every single page. It gives real mom tips in a non-judgy way. Check it out.

Mama shirt

Before our Low Buy Month, I purchased this Ford and Wyatt shirt and I’m so glad I did. I am all in when it comes to blush pink and this shirt is a favorite. It’s a repeat offender in my closet. It’s buttery soft and definitely one of my best buys this year.

Breakfast Sandwich Saturdays

Most days I don’t eat breakfast. I don’t technically do intermittent fasting, but it’s my good old college try at it. Saturdays, I indulge in breakfast…usually a breakfast sandwich made by my better half. My favorite is bacon on an english muffin with a fried egg and swiss cheese. Do you have a weekend breakfast tradition?

Fresh Air

I know it’s cliche, but the fresh air has been life giving. This time of year we are working in the yard a lot, and there is no replacement for breathing in the good stuff. My hands have been dirty and chapped and my body is tired, but my head is clear as I take in the small changes coming to life all around the farm.

What are you loving this spring?

Vanessa

Spring Uniform

A Simpler Motherhood

Winter is (officially) behind us and I don’t know about you, but I am here for it. Thank you Jesus for spring. The changing of the seasons is a prime time to purge and refresh the closet. Choosing a spring uniform is a great way to look good while simplifying the process of choosing what to wear each day.

Spring and fall are my favorite times to reassess what is in my closet and what I’m actually wearing. While having a uniform might not be for everyone, I think it’s a concept worth considering if you’re someone who struggles with decision fatigue. (Decision fatigue refers to the deteriorating quality of decisions when making many consecutive decisions.) I have unintentionally been wearing a ‘uniform’ the past few years, but am trying to hone it in this spring.

spring uniform

Why a spring uniform?

People like Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg are just two of many well known entrepreneurs who have a uniform. Why? It creates less decision fatigue, eliminating a decision and freeing up more brain power for others.

A spring uniform also allows us to wear what we love and feel good in everyday. We all have varying degrees of how much effort and energy we want to exert to what goes on our bodies, but I think we can all agree we want to feel good and confident in what we wear. Choosing a spring uniform can help with that.

There is a good chance you have heard this statistic: We wear only 20% of the items in our closet routinely. That means we might have a closet full of clothes, but nothing to wear. Intentionally choosing a spring uniform means not shuffling through the other 80% of the stuff in our closet.

Decision fatigue, looking and feeling confident, and actually wearing the clothes in our closet are three reasons to consider a spring uniform.

What is a spring uniform?

A spring uniform doesn’t mean you wear the same white t-shirt and jeans everyday, unless you want to. A spring uniform is a formula for how to dress this season. For example, my spring uniform includes leggings or shorts, a tank with a pullover or zip up, and sneakers, boots or sandals. Since I am home with kids all day, this uniform works for me in this stage of life. I have skinny jeans and a button down or tee to pull out for a date night, time with girlfriends, or just for a day I want to up the ante a bit.

If you work outside the home you may need a work uniform and a weekend uniform. An example of a work uniform could be: a pencil skirt with blouse and cardigan and/or trousers with a tucked blouse. Your weekend uniform could be jeans, a t-shirt and button up or whatever makes you feel comfortable and ready for time with your people.

A spring uniform doesn’t mean your wardrobe is boring or lacking options. I absolutely believe it can be fun with lots of creative breathing room. A spring uniform merely means decision fatigue is significantly decreased because what you wear is thought out and the clothing pieces are curated to make you look and feel good.

How to create a spring uniform?

The most important part in creating a spring uniform is to pull pieces from your closet you love, fit well, and you feel good in. What do you love wearing in the spring? What clothes fit and lay well? Are there pieces in your closet that make you feel more confident?

Pull your favorites.

What pieces do you always pull to wear when you feel like you have nothing to wear? Begin there. Pull your favorite pieces to the front of your closet.

Find what works together.

From your favorites, what pieces go together? A typical outfit formula for spring: bottom, top, layer, shoes, accessories. As you put pieces together, notice if there are any duplicate silhouettes. For example, are you always reaching for skinny jeans and a flowy blouse? Or maybe it’s high waisted pants with an oversized t-shirt? If you see a pattern of silhouettes, take note, as it could help you create your uniform.

Put on some music and take time to try on your favorite pieces you normally wouldn’t pair together to see if they work. Noticing duplicate silhouettes and pairings you feel good in will help you decide the pieces for your spring uniform.

Decide on the uniform.

A uniform is not the same pants and shirt everyday, unless it will make your life simpler. It is wearing the same genre of outfit everyday. For me, it’s leggings and a pullover or zip up, sometimes skinny jeans if I’m going out. I can decide if I want to own 3 pairs of leggings or 6 or if I want 4 pullovers or 20. I get to choose if I want them all the same color or if I want to have color, print, and fabric options for variety. Decide on the uniform by thinking about what makes you feel like you and choosing the pieces that fit in your uniform genre.

Decide on enough.

A spring uniform will look different for all of us and the number of pieces we want to complete it will be different as well. Decide what is enough for you. How many tops and bottoms do you need so you aren’t stressed about too much laundry or a too full closet? How many shoe options and accessory options are ample to create the looks you want? Decide what is enough for you.

Purge.

Look at what’s left. Is there anything that isn’t serving you anymore? Is there anything you didn’t wear last spring and are almost sure you won’t wear this spring? Do a gut check and purge the unnecessary, so it won’t clog up your closet and your brain space.

Purchase intentionally.

One of the big advantages to a spring uniform is shopping gets substantially easier. You know what you have and it’s clear if there are any gaps. After you curate your spring uniform and purge the unnecessary, decide if there are pieces you would like to add to your closet to enhance your spring uniform. Staying within budget, shop intentionally with the mindset of choosing pieces you love, pieces that fit well, and outfit combinations that amplify your confidence.

A spring uniform isn’t for everyone. Deciding what you put on your body everyday might bring you joy and if so…you do you! But if you’re like me and creating a spring uniform can simplify your morning and give you more time for other things, I hope you try this concept.

Tell me: Do you think a spring uniform would add value to your life and make it simpler?

Vanessa

Low Buy Month

A Simpler Motherhood

Sometimes it’s good to stretch ourselves, see if there are ways to change things up and live a more purposeful life. Tweaks, edits, baby steps. I’ve been doing some Intentional Living Experiments and I’ve got a new one on deck. A Low Buy Month is an intentional challenge to consume less for four weeks.

Low Buy Month

Why?

I love a good challenge and a Low Buy Month is simply a way to check our family’s consumption and focus on being more intentional with the things we purchase. It’s a good practice in gratitude and a surefire way to be thankful for what is right in front of us. A Low Buy Month is also a way to focus on experiences instead of stuff.

What?

No spend months have been a trend and a Low Buy Month is a version of that idea. It’s a reset of sorts, being hyper aware of consumption and cutting back on unnecessary purchases. It is not a detox or a no spend month. It’s something in between.

The great thing about a Low Buy Month is it can be tailored to the needs of each person or family. Some families may choose to only spend a specific amount on certain categories. Others will choose to spend nothing on nonessential items for a month. Every person and family can customize the Low Buy Month to make it work for them.

What will our Low Buy Month look like?

For our family, we will continue to cover our needs: housing, gas, food, utilities, insurance, etc. For us, the Low Buy comes in when purchasing unnecessary goods: clothes, toys, books, extra stuff that isn’t essential.

We are giving ourselves a budget of a whopping $0 for nonessential goods for our family this month. We will simply not purchase any unnecessary stuff for the next four weeks. Our focus will be on experiences instead of stuff. To be clear, we will still purchase consumables (soap, hair/skin product replacements, ink cartridges) and we will still spend money on experiences (post-bike ride ice cream stops, coffee dates, etc.) throughout the four weeks. We will also allow ourselves to purchase gifts for birthdays and anniversaries (because we have a lot this month).

Our Low Buy Month will run March 15 to April 12. Because of our schedule, it didn’t work to begin at the beginning of the month.

I am curious to see if buying nonessential items one weekend a month would be an option for our family. For example, if I want to buy a tank for this summer or a new book to read during quiet time, I would wait until my buying weekend to purchase instead of buying immediately. The waiting sets up friction to see if it’s truly something I’m interested in after some time has passed. It may seem silly and inconvenient, but it’s one small way to be intentional with our consumption. I’m not sure we will go this way long term, but this experiment will help us decide.

I will report back at the end of our Low Buy Month to fill you in on our experience and results.

Tell me: Have you ever done a Low Buy Month?