A Simpler Motherhood

Winter is (officially) behind us and I don’t know about you, but I am here for it. Thank you Jesus for spring. The changing of the seasons is a prime time to purge and refresh the closet. Choosing a spring uniform is a great way to look good while simplifying the process of choosing what to wear each day.

Spring and fall are my favorite times to reassess what is in my closet and what I’m actually wearing. While having a uniform might not be for everyone, I think it’s a concept worth considering if you’re someone who struggles with decision fatigue. (Decision fatigue refers to the deteriorating quality of decisions when making many consecutive decisions.) I have unintentionally been wearing a ‘uniform’ the past few years, but am trying to hone it in this spring.

Why a spring uniform?

People like Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg are just two of many well known entrepreneurs who have a uniform. Why? It creates less decision fatigue, eliminating a decision and freeing up more brain power for others.

A spring uniform also allows us to wear what we love and feel good in everyday. We all have varying degrees of how much effort and energy we want to exert to what goes on our bodies, but I think we can all agree we want to feel good and confident in what we wear. Choosing a spring uniform can help with that.

There is a good chance you have heard this statistic: We wear only 20% of the items in our closet routinely. That means we might have a closet full of clothes, but nothing to wear. Intentionally choosing a spring uniform means not shuffling through the other 80% of the stuff in our closet.

Decision fatigue, looking and feeling confident, and actually wearing the clothes in our closet are three reasons to consider a spring uniform.

What is a spring uniform?

A spring uniform doesn’t mean you wear the same white t-shirt and jeans everyday, unless you want to. A spring uniform is a formula for how to dress this season. For example, my spring uniform includes leggings or shorts, a tank with a pullover or zip up, and sneakers, boots or sandals. Since I am home with kids all day, this uniform works for me in this stage of life. I have skinny jeans and a button down or tee to pull out for a date night, time with girlfriends, or just for a day I want to up the ante a bit.

If you work outside the home you may need a work uniform and a weekend uniform. An example of a work uniform could be: a pencil skirt with blouse and cardigan and/or trousers with a tucked blouse. Your weekend uniform could be jeans, a t-shirt and button up or whatever makes you feel comfortable and ready for time with your people.

A spring uniform doesn’t mean your wardrobe is boring or lacking options. I absolutely believe it can be fun with lots of creative breathing room. A spring uniform merely means decision fatigue is significantly decreased because what you wear is thought out and the clothing pieces are curated to make you look and feel good.

How to create a spring uniform?

The most important part in creating a spring uniform is to pull pieces from your closet you love, fit well, and you feel good in. What do you love wearing in the spring? What clothes fit and lay well? Are there pieces in your closet that make you feel more confident?

Pull your favorites.

What pieces do you always pull to wear when you feel like you have nothing to wear? Begin there. Pull your favorite pieces to the front of your closet.

Find what works together.

From your favorites, what pieces go together? A typical outfit formula for spring: bottom, top, layer, shoes, accessories. As you put pieces together, notice if there are any duplicate silhouettes. For example, are you always reaching for skinny jeans and a flowy blouse? Or maybe it’s high waisted pants with an oversized t-shirt? If you see a pattern of silhouettes, take note, as it could help you create your uniform.

Put on some music and take time to try on your favorite pieces you normally wouldn’t pair together to see if they work. Noticing duplicate silhouettes and pairings you feel good in will help you decide the pieces for your spring uniform.

Decide on the uniform.

A uniform is not the same pants and shirt everyday, unless it will make your life simpler. It is wearing the same genre of outfit everyday. For me, it’s leggings and a pullover or zip up, sometimes skinny jeans if I’m going out. I can decide if I want to own 3 pairs of leggings or 6 or if I want 4 pullovers or 20. I get to choose if I want them all the same color or if I want to have color, print, and fabric options for variety. Decide on the uniform by thinking about what makes you feel like you and choosing the pieces that fit in your uniform genre.

Decide on enough.

A spring uniform will look different for all of us and the number of pieces we want to complete it will be different as well. Decide what is enough for you. How many tops and bottoms do you need so you aren’t stressed about too much laundry or a too full closet? How many shoe options and accessory options are ample to create the looks you want? Decide what is enough for you.

Purge.

Look at what’s left. Is there anything that isn’t serving you anymore? Is there anything you didn’t wear last spring and are almost sure you won’t wear this spring? Do a gut check and purge the unnecessary, so it won’t clog up your closet and your brain space.

Purchase intentionally.

One of the big advantages to a spring uniform is shopping gets substantially easier. You know what you have and it’s clear if there are any gaps. After you curate your spring uniform and purge the unnecessary, decide if there are pieces you would like to add to your closet to enhance your spring uniform. Staying within budget, shop intentionally with the mindset of choosing pieces you love, pieces that fit well, and outfit combinations that amplify your confidence.

A spring uniform isn’t for everyone. Deciding what you put on your body everyday might bring you joy and if so…you do you! But if you’re like me and creating a spring uniform can simplify your morning and give you more time for other things, I hope you try this concept.

Tell me: Do you think a spring uniform would add value to your life and make it simpler?

Sometimes it’s good to stretch ourselves, see if there are ways to change things up and live a more purposeful life. Tweaks, edits, baby steps. I’ve been doing some Intentional Living Experiments and I’ve got a new one on deck. A Low Buy Month is an intentional challenge to consume less for four weeks.

Low Buy Month

Why?

I love a good challenge and a Low Buy Month is simply a way to check our family’s consumption and focus on being more intentional with the things we purchase. It’s a good practice in gratitude and a surefire way to be thankful for what is right in front of us. A Low Buy Month is also a way to focus on experiences instead of stuff.

What?

No spend months have been a trend and a Low Buy Month is a version of that idea. It’s a reset of sorts, being hyper aware of consumption and cutting back on unnecessary purchases. It is not a detox or a no spend month. It’s something in between.

The great thing about a Low Buy Month is it can be tailored to the needs of each person or family. Some families may choose to only spend a specific amount on certain categories. Others will choose to spend nothing on nonessential items for a month. Every person and family can customize the Low Buy Month to make it work for them.

What will our Low Buy Month look like?

For our family, we will continue to cover our needs: housing, gas, food, utilities, insurance, etc. For us, the Low Buy comes in when purchasing unnecessary goods: clothes, toys, books, extra stuff that isn’t essential.

We are giving ourselves a budget of a whopping $0 for nonessential goods for our family this month. We will simply not purchase any unnecessary stuff for the next four weeks. Our focus will be on experiences instead of stuff. To be clear, we will still purchase consumables (soap, hair/skin product replacements, ink cartridges) and we will still spend money on experiences (post-bike ride ice cream stops, coffee dates, etc.) throughout the four weeks. We will also allow ourselves to purchase gifts for birthdays and anniversaries (because we have a lot this month).

Our Low Buy Month will run March 15 to April 12. Because of our schedule, it didn’t work to begin at the beginning of the month.

I am curious to see if buying nonessential items one weekend a month would be an option for our family. For example, if I want to buy a tank for this summer or a new book to read during quiet time, I would wait until my buying weekend to purchase instead of buying immediately. The waiting sets up friction to see if it’s truly something I’m interested in after some time has passed. It may seem silly and inconvenient, but it’s one small way to be intentional with our consumption. I’m not sure we will go this way long term, but this experiment will help us decide.

I will report back at the end of our Low Buy Month to fill you in on our experience and results.

Tell me: Have you ever done a Low Buy Month?

Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Youtube, Tik Tok, Twitter, WhatsApp. What is your social of choice? For me, Facebook and Instagram make scrolling effortless and monopolize my time. A few weeks back I did a two week social media break from Facebook and Instagram. I deleted them from my phone and had two weeks without any scrolling or liking. It was eye opening and I learned a lot about myself.

Social Media Break: What I Learned

I didn’t miss scrolling nearly as much as I thought I would.

The pretty pictures, the ‘keeping up’, the immediate gratification dopamine hit. I didn’t miss it as much as I thought I would. There were times my body subconsciously went to scroll, but I really didn’t want to. I enjoyed not being tethered to an endless supply of information. After the initial shock, it was freeing.

What I missed most was keeping up with my in-real-life friends. I missed seeing their babies and what they were doing each day. I missed a few influencers whose pretty pictures and words inspire me. But most of it, I could never see again and be happier for it.

I’m on my phone way more than I should be.

I intentionally kept track of my phone use during the social media break because I thought it would be interesting to see how much I used it without social media in play. It was shocking. I averaged about 1 hour 30 minutes on my phone during the detox, which means there is a good chance I average more with social media. To get real, that’s 547 1/2 hours in year, which equates to almost 23 days a year my eyes are glued to a tiny screen.

Jesus, be near.

Although it’s frustrating and discouraging how much I am on my phone, knowledge is power. Knowing what I know now, I am able to make a change.

Our phones and the apps we use are created to keep our eyes on the screen for as many minutes hours as possible. They are addictive on purpose because we all know: more eyes equal more money. I need to keep this in mind and give myself grace as I try and move in the direction of less phone time.

Boundaries are the key to change.

Some people think boundaries are restrictive and they are, but many times that can be a good thing. I found when I put certain boundaries in place during my Social Media Break, I was on my phone less. Deleting Facebook and Instagram from my phone was a boundary that didn’t give me the option to scroll. On Sundays I left my phone charging by the bed in our room and my phone use was extremely low on those days (and I didn’t miss it).

Boundaries are a tool I use to force myself to do the hard thing. The why behind the boundary matters. I want boundaries in play with my phone use so I spend less time with my eyes on a screen and more time present with my people.

What will I change?

After taking a few weeks off social media and intentionally focusing on screen time, there are a few changes I want to make. I took the time everyday to journal my thoughts on my screen time use. Journaling helped me reflect and make decisions on positive changes to reduce my phone use.

Apps and Boredom Scrolling

Facebook will continue to stay off my phone and I will only add it back the days I am on Facebook Live. Instagram will come back, but with the boundary of not using it in the evenings during family time. A hard and fast rule I am trying to implement is to eliminate boredom scrolling. Like everything else in our lives, I want to be intentional when I consume the content on Facebook and Instagram. I want to be in control of my screen use, not the other way around.

Keep Boundaries in Play

During the social media break, it worked to keep my phone charging by my bed when I didn’t want to use it. Adding the friction of keeping my phone in the bedroom was a good boundary. I plan on trying it out during school times, evenings, and weekends when it makes sense. When my phone isn’t close and in view, I rarely think about it. When I can lay eyes on it, it is a constant temptation.

Technology is an incredible blessing and I am grateful for it. However, it can ever so quickly become a distracting addiction.

Like The Minimalists say: Scrolling is the new smoking.

Yikes.

The biggest thing I learned during my social media break was this: Boundaries are the simplest way to make lasting change.

Tell me: Have you ever taken a social media break?

Intentional living experiments are small investigations into different ways of living. They allow us to learn, grow, find out what is enough, and live a purposeful life.

I’ve completed different intentional living experiments the last few years, one summer mimicking Jen Hatmaker’s 7 Experiment. I always learn a lot about myself and my desire for comfort, simplicity, and ease. Intentional living experiments mix things up, stretch me, and teach me how to be a better human.

Doing Life Somewhere New

In February my family and I experienced life somewhere new for a month. The past few years my husband and I have been dreaming about traveling extensively with our family. We love our home and community and also have the desire to experience new places with our kids in a big way. At the beginning of COVID, we decided to go south for a month in February. We had been planning and saving for awhile, so it seemed like the perfect opportunity to make it happen with my husband working from home.

Our family took the plunge and lived in South Padre, Texas for four weeks. We enjoyed the sunshine, my husband worked on the patio, and we did pool after school. We learned a lot and it wasn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination. There were sleeping struggles, 40 hours in the car, a crazy winter storm that left us without water, and figuring out how to live and work someplace new. But, it was our adventure, our intentional living experiment. We learned a lot about ourselves and decided this is an experiment we will do again.

For the next three months (and possibly more), I will be exploring more intentional living experiments. I will be completing one experiment a month and journaling my findings to report at the end of each month. Below you will find my Intentional Living Experiments.

Intentional Living Experiments

February: Doing Life Somewhere New/Social Media Break

March: Low Buy Month

April: Walk Everyday

May: Hands on Homeschooling

I chose these experiments because I want to focus and stretch myself in these specific areas. I want to do a Low Buy Month, where our family reduces our consumption on unnecessary items for four weeks and we focus on what we do have instead of what we don’t have. Walking is something I have come to love and I want to make it a priority with a walk everyday experiment. Hands on learning is a struggle for me, especially as we have added kids to our family, and I want to see if it’s something I can incorporate more into our homeschool day.

Additional Intentional Living Experiments

An Intentional Living Experiment doesn’t have to span the course of a month. It can span a day, a week, or whatever feels right. It can be tailored to anyone’s goals and values and is simply a way to see if there is another way.

3 Minutes of Meditation

Water Only

Scripture Memorization

Whole 30

Outside Everyday

Sugar Detox

Track Every Dollar

Tech or Social Media Detox

Read Everyday

No Eating Out

News Detox

Bible Everyday

Only Buy Secondhand

Gratitude Practice

New Clothing Fast

No Yelling

TV Detox

Pray Everyday

A Thank You Note a Day

As I make this list, I am humbled by how many experiments I feel called to. There are so many ways to grow and so many experiments I want to try so I learn more about myself.

Have you ever tried an Intentional Living Experiment? What is an Intentional Living Experiment you could start today?

If you live in America, there is a good chance you have been sold the idea of being busy. We live in a fast paced, hurried, busy culture. While work is good and progress and achievement are things we want to challenge ourselves with, there are times it seems to have gone too far.

Although God created us to work, he also created us to rest. God himself rested on the seventh day after creating the world we live in. So if the God of the universe can fit in some R&R, I’m sure we can as well.

Maybe it seems too overwhelming to find an entire day to rest or even a few hours. Today I want to share some small ways I find rest in the everyday.

Small Ways to Big Rest

Breathe

Yes, we must do it to live. But have you ever taken a minute to notice your breath? To be thankful for it? Shut yourself in a closet if you need to and take deep belly breaths for as long as you can. Maybe it’s just three breaths, maybe it’s five minutes worth. It doesn’t matter how long, just take time to breathe and notice how you feel when you’re done.

Close your eyes

Closing my eyes in this stage of life feels so luxurious. Sometimes when I’m feeling overwhelmed, I will give myself a few minutes to lay on my bed or on the couch and shut my eyes. There might be children coming to climb on top of me or yelling ‘Mom’ in the background, but closing my eyes is one super simple way to find a little rest in the everyday.

Do something you love

Read a few pages in a book, go for a 10 minute walk, sit on the couch and cuddle your baby. Knit, listen to your favorite music, take a nap, pray, hug your husband. Make it a priority to do something you love everyday. It’s my favorite way to rest.

Move your body

Although it may seem backwards to exercise for rest, moving your body is powerful. Whether it’s 10 jumping jacks or a 10 minute workout, it all matters. Exercise helps pump up feel good neurotransmitters, called endorphins. It also reduces the negative effects of stress and improves your mood. If I am feeling worn down, I will do a quick 10 minute workout to move my body and get the endorphins flowing.

Find quiet

Whether it means getting up before your kids or staying up after they are in bed, find some quiet in your day. My day is full to the brim with kids, their requests, and the sounds of all their adventures (and quarrels). It is beautiful and loud and lovely and loud. I wake early to find quiet so I can ready myself for the day ahead.

Rest is a vital part of living more life. Where do you find rest in the everyday?

Every few months, I like to do A Day in the Life post to reflect and remember what our everyday looks like. Here it is…

5:00: Alarm goes off.

5:10: Get up, make our bed, and do a 10 minute Motivated Total Body workout.

5:25: Take a shower and get ready for the day.

5:40: Plan and print papers for the 100th day of school.

5:55: Devotion, Prayer, and Blog work.

6:45: Luke’s alarm goes off and he cuddles with me on the couch.

6:55: Lily and Jude join for cuddles on the couch.

7:10: Kevin feeds the crew breakfast while I tidy the living room, put a load of laundry in, and get rolls out to rise for dinner.

7:30: School begins with seat work. As Luke does his independent work, I work with Lily on counting by 10s and 2s, the sh,th,ch chunks, and she reads a book to me called Clocks.

7:55: Luke is ready for my attention. We work together on graphing, math word problems, and homophones.

8:45: Break time from school. Luke and Lily do a Christmas Baby Yoda Art Hub.

9:00: We meet in the school room to talk about the day, do our Family Ways lesson, and say the pledge.

9:10: We gather on the couch for our Morning Basket. We review states and capitals, read our Jesus Calling devotional, read Uncle Wiggly and Cozy by Jan Brett.

9:45: Today is errands day since tomorrow we are supposed to get a snow storm. We file into the van. The kids read for the first 10 minutes of our drive and then we listen to the Runaway Ralph audiobook. We get to Chick-fil-A in time for a late breakfast/early lunch of chicken minis and yogurt parfaits. We do recycling, stop by the library to pick up Luke’s new books, and do a grocery pick up (so grateful we no longer have to go in for groceries!!!).

11:30: We are back home. The kids play and Jack and I eat.

12:30: Luke and Lily complete their reading lessons with me.

1:20: Luke reads to Lily and Jude.

1:40: The kids get their screen time for the day. We are running a bit behind, but they each get to watch something for 10 minutes. During the week, the show must be considered a ‘learning’ show. Micky Mouse Clubhouse and a space documentary are the choices for today. I do another Motivated workout while they have screen time.

1:55: Jack goes down for nap.

2:30: The kids get their vitamins and go to their rooms for Quiet Time.

2:40: Tidy up the house.

2:50: Practice a Simplicity talk I’m giving to my MOPS group.

3:45: Read for 10 minutes before the kids get up.

4:00: The kids get up and go outside to play.

4:25: Begin dinner prep.

4:45: I talk to my mom on the phone as the kids come inside. They sit at the kitchen counter doing an Art Hub and creating with play dough.

5:00: Jack gets up.

5:15: Kevin comes upstairs and is off work. #praisejesus

5:30: Kevin and I chat while I finish dinner.

6:15: We eat a dinner of chicken noodle soup and rolls together.

6:50: Kevin and I clean up dinner and start baths.

7:15: Jack down for bed.

7:30: We begin the bedtime routine with the older three kids. We read books and do a Nightly Reset.

8:15: I take a shower, tidy up, and collapse on the couch to do some blog work.

9:00: Kevin and I watch The Crown.

9:55: We get ready for bed, check on Jude to be sure he is asleep (and also because watching him sleep is one of my favorite things) and head to bed.

What does a typical day look like at your house?

The month of love is upon us. Valentines and chocolates and paper hearts. I love any reason to celebrate so we celebrate Valentine’s Day big at our house. Today I’m sharing some things I’m loving this season.

What I’m Loving

No more bangs

Praise Jesus for no more bangs. My daughter cut her hair back in September and although she totally rocked her bangs (and Dark Horse Salon saved us and made them look intentional), I am ready for them to be out of her face. She is happy I am pulling them back now and I am happy I am pulling them back now. I’m super thankful Charli Dean Designs sent her these little bows that are perfect to clip back her hair.

The Make-up Eraser

A good friend gifted this to me for my birthday and I know it sounds dramatic, but it’s life changing. No more eye make up remover, no more disposable make-up pads, no more streaked eyeliner across my face. This thing is the real deal and takes off my make up in a couple of swipes.

Charcoal Facial Mask

I love a good mask. This Beautycounter Charcoal Mask is so fun and productive. Not only does it have a fresh peppermint scent, but it makes my face feel so smooth and lovely. I use it once or twice a week and look forward to every time I put it on my face. A bonus that it comes from Beautycounter and uses clean ingredients.

Crop Tops

Not the crop tops of the late 90s. And not the ones showing all the things. I picked out a long sleeve crop top for my birthday and it is conservative and works well with all the high rise pants I’m wearing these days. Since my pants are high and my shirt is cropped, there is no tucking in, which I love. I picked up mine from a boutique, but I like this one from Luluemon.

A slower pace

Winter always brings a slower pace, at least for our family. There is no outside work to be done. No weeds to pull or grass to mow. It is quiet and slow and although I miss seeing people SO MUCH, I enjoy the slower pace of life in the winter.

What are you loving this season??

The month of goals and resolutions is almost over. Right now is about the time we lose steam with our decluttering efforts or the excitement to move our body wanes. Now is the exact time we need to Keep the Momentum.

Whether you set Quarterly Goals, are wanting to Edit A Room, or have something else you’re working towards, now is the time to dig in and keep going. Here are a few ways that have helped me stay the path.

Keep the Momentum

Remember why.

Why do you want to simplify your home? Why do you want to move your body? Why do you want to read more? Remembering why we are doing something is key to keeping the momentum.

I am trying to use my phone 30% less this quarter. My why for this goal is this: I want to be more present for my living, breathing people in front of me. Remembering the why motivates me to put my phone away.

Motivate yourself.

Over 80% of New Year’s goals fail by the second week of February. Knowledge is power. Take the extra step and motivate yourself to continue working towards your goal. Maybe you need to up the ante and reward yourself with an extra long shower after your workout. Or maybe give yourself permission to grab the latte after you declutter the bathroom. Maybe you are hoping to read more. Entice yourself to sit down with a book by putting it on your to-do list and allowing yourself a piece of good chocolate as you read. Think about what will motivate you to take the next step on your journey and put it in play.

Remind yourself about habits.

Most goals or resolutions or words of the year have to do with habits. We want to build a new habit that will help us live the life we want. On average, it takes a person around 66 days for a new habit to become automatic. Circle the 66 day mark on your calendar and keep moving forward. Building a new habit takes work and consistency.

Give yourself grace.

We all mess up. We all miss a day. Don’t let one or two missed or hard days derail your progress. Decide if you miss a day, you won’t let yourself miss two or three in a row. We can be so hard on ourselves and give up because our progress doesn’t meet our expectations. Let’s give ourselves grace and keep at it because it is never hopeless and there is always tomorrow.

We are more capable than we know and with a little determination and intentionality, we can stay the path and continue moving towards our goals. Tell me: how will you keep the momentum?