I just got home from lunch with a friend, a rare occurrence these days between homeschooling, changing diapers, feeding little humans, and keeping the Cheerios swept up. A rare occurrence indeed. But when the opportunity came, I knew I must seize it because who knows when the next one will surface. So, I asked a favor from my husband who happened to be home (thank you President’s Day) and scooted out the door to have some hot soup and good conversation.
At lunch we talked about our kids and all the sickness going around. We discussed the snowstorm likely to dump five more inches on our already rather large piles of snow. We chatted about our weekends and then it went a bit deeper as we shared our struggles in our current seasons. I shared my shame for not serving as much as I like in our church and elsewhere. And then it’s as if no one else was around and we encouraged each other, told one another truths, and built each other up. I left lunch feeling filled up, loved, and known.
Friendships while raising littles can be a struggle. And when I stop and think about why, it all comes down to time. Our time is taken up by diapers and preschool and nap time and soccer practice and getting dinner on the table. All things worthy of our time and efforts, but sometimes there seems like there isn’t enough for much else. Friendships can sometimes take a back seat to everything else during this season.
But, friends, can I share something with you? I have found it is always worth the sacrifice, the extra work, the screaming kids to make time for friendship. It’s absolutely not easy, but so worthwhile. My friendships are not picture perfect and each one looks different. We don’t see each other as often as we like, but we make the effort. And the effort is what matters.
My friends are who I can share my ridiculous days with, my outlandish kid stories, my struggles and triumphs. They are the ones I turn to for support, encouragement, and love. In fact, when it was taking my husband and I longer than anticipated to conceive our fourth child, it was my friends who I turned to and they showed up. They listened and pointed me towards truth and loved me where I was at.
Friendships seem to be the first thing to go when life gets overwhelming or there are too many balls in the air. But sometimes it’s those times when we need our friends the most. Going through something hard with strong friendships by my side has taught me to be intentional with the people I choose to do life with and make time for them. They are vital and necessary and important and life giving.
Yes, it can be hard to find the time. Yes, it can be a struggle with kid schedules to juggle. Yes, it is sometimes easier to just stay home and say ‘next time’. But, goodness, when the lunch or playdate works out or (gasp) the stars align and a girl’s weekend is in the books, it always reminds me it’s worth the time, the struggle, the work to make it happen.
Friendships matter, especially in motherhood.
I love this post! I can relate to this. It’s really the effort that matters. I used have a friend who was pregnant the same time as me. After our babies were born, I just didn’t see her. No matter how many times I tried to reach out..she just didn’t say anything when we’ll gonna see each other again. She just keeps saying “soon”… I wished our babies would get to know each other. But there’s no effort. I’m not sure if she’s doing okay but every time I reach out, she seems doing great. But to catch up and meet? It never happened so I just stopped 🙁
Effort is such a big deal! I’m so sorry it didn’t work out with your friend. I have been there with some friends, too. I keep trying as much as my capacity will allow, but sometimes it just doesn’t work out. Thanks for your kind words!