Category: A Simpler Childhood

We’ve all heard this before. 18 Summers. We get 18 poolside, popsicle eating, sunshiny summers with our babes. 18 summers of library trips, baseball games, staying up late to catch fireflies, pink cheeks, and fireworks in an inky sky. While you and I know 18 Summers is the reality, many times it’s hard to live there. It’s hard to live there (even when we have prepped for it) when we are fixing snacks for what feels like the 100th time in a day or saying no to screen time or listening to siblings quarrel. I know because I have lost sight of 18 Summers already this summer and we aren’t even a month in. But, perspectives can always be shifted and today I’m sharing my hope for An Intentional Summer.

An Intentional Summer

Intentionality helps us live the life we want and be the people we want to be. Being intentional with how we spend our resources, what we focus on, and how we love people matters. Annie Dillard said it best: How we spend our days is of course how we spend our lives.

This summer let’s be intentional with our greatest resource: our time. Our hours and days are numbered with each of our kiddos.

Let’s start with a powerful exercise. List each of your kids on a sheet of paper or in your notes app and next to their name write how many summers you have with them before they leave the nest. You can see mine below.

Luke – 10

Lily – 12

Jude – 14

Jack – 17

My heart could barely handle this. I only have 10 summers left with all my babies at home. Jesus be near.

Now that we have some perspective, let’s take some time and think through what is important and how we can sharpen our focus on that this summer.

Word of the Summer

I’m sure you have heard many people talk about their word for the year. At the start of a new year, many people choose a word instead of setting goals. Grace or Love or Intentional or Hustle or Give. I want to take that same idea and implement it into setting the intent for this summer.

Think and pray through what you want this summer to look and feel like with your kids. Choose a word that reflects those things. Maybe it’s Savor because you have babies in your arms and you want to savor this incredibly hard and beautiful summer with your littles. Maybe it’s Connect because you have more time with your kids in the summer and want to connect with them. Or maybe it’s Prepare because your kids are getting more independent by the minute and you need to prepare them and you for more independence.

Take some time and choose a Word of the Summer.

My Word

The word I have chosen for this summer is Align. Align means to support and come together in agreement. This past spring was fuller then normal for our family. And when things get busy, some things fall away and get out of alignment out of necessity. I want to make time to Align with both my kids and my husband this summer. Align our values, goals, parenting style, rhythms, and family time.

What does it mean?

Now that we have chosen a word of the summer, it’s time to determine what it means. I’m a list kind of a girl, so let’s make a list of some practical things we can do to make that word a priority this summer. For example, if your word is Connect your list could look something like:

Spend 10 minutes of one on one time with each kid everyday

Take each child on a date 2 times this summer

Find out what interests each child and do it with them

Make a list of practical ways you can implement your word this summer.

What does it mean for me?

I’ve come up with 3 practical ways I want to Align with my family this summer.

Discuss parenting wins and learnings during Kevin and I’s weekly Sunday meeting.

Continue and increase our read aloud time through the summer to foster more common experiences.

Make a ‘bucket list’ of items my kids want to do together this summer.

An Intentional Summer

I wish I could tell you this was the magic bullet to an epic, quarrel free, magical, intentional summer. That, my friend, would be a false promise. However, whenever we think through and are intentional with pieces of our lives, our lives are filled with more of what we want and less of what we don’t. We are living the life we actually want instead of one that’s being thrown at us day after day.

My hope is taking 15-20 minutes to think and pray through the kind of summer we want will pay dividends the next several months. I will keep you updated as our family moves through our own intentional summer.

We are in the thick of May. It’s hard to look past tomorrow, let alone the next few months. However, summer will be here before we can say popsicle and doing a little mental prep now will help us be ready for those sweet summer days. Here are a few things we can do to Prep for Summer.

Prep for Summer

The Perfect Day

We are imperfect people living with other imperfect people. The Perfect Day might seen unattainable (and probably is). However, there are some pretty dang good days. You know the ones. The days you plop in bed with an exhausted body and a full heart.

I think it’s valuable to think through how we want a typical, ‘perfect’ summer day to look. As moms, we get to determine the rhythm and flow of our days. While summer’s rhythms and routines are looser and different than other times of year, it can be helpful to determine and sketch our perfect day. If we are intentional, we can make these summer days what our families need and want. In fact, summer is the perfect time to create lovely days and long lasting memories with our kids.

So what does your perfect day look like? Slow mornings, pool afternoons? Playdates with friends certain days of the week? Library time? Screen time boundaries? Chores completed? No one asking what’s for dinner?

You may roll your eyes, but grab an old fashioned pad of paper and pen and write down what you want a typical day to look like. I did this recently and here’s what I came up with:

Our Perfect Day

Kevin serves Breakfast

Essentials Checklist: Chores, 15 Minutes of reading, 2 pages of math

Outside playtime/Playdates/Errands/Crafts/Library

Picnic Lunch (no kitchen clean up, please and thank you)

Reading Lessons & Screen Time

Quiet Time & Quarry (our swimming hole)

Dinner Prep

Our days won’t always look like this, but I will do my best to make sure many do.

Screen Time Boundaries

Before summer gets here, I think it’s worthwhile to have screen time boundaries in place. If your kids are anything like my kids, when normal rhythms go out the window, they can sometimes lean towards asking for screen time. And if you’re anything like me, you don’t want to be asked 20 times in an hour when they can use technology.

Let’s put some screen time boundaries in place. For our family, that looks like screen time after lunch and reading lessons each day. It also looks like them asking before they can look up something or play music on their iPad, which my nine year old has been really into lately. I’m also working on putting their iPads in an inconvenient place for them, so it’s not as easily accessible.

The first week of summer break is a good time to introduce or review screen time boundaries. Let’s be proactive with this. Screen time is a part of our kids’ lives and having boundaries in place will save our sanity and their brains.

Snacks

Feeding kids takes up half the summer. Amen. Deciding how we want to tackle snacks now limits moments of frustration later. Will kids be able to get snacks whenever they like? Will there be a special snack cabinet? Are snacks limited? I’m not sure why we need to think so much about this, but we just do. If you’ve been a mom in the summer, you know it’s true.

For our family, we don’t do many snacks, unless we are out and about. I will keep our snack cabinet stocked so we can grab what we need on our way out the door to playdates, the park, the quarry, or zoo. Knowing how I want snacks to be handled during the day and my kids understanding the expectations makes our days run smoother.

Speaking of snacks, let’s stock up on those items now so we won’t be in a bind when we are heading off to the zoo with friends. You know they won’t go to waste.

Gather Supplies

Summer requires different supplies and tools. Sunscreen, bathing suits, s’more ingredients, a sprinkler, snacks, towels, outside gear, crafting bits and pieces. After mentally thinking through the perfect day and deciding about screen time and snacks, make a list of supplies needed to prep for summer. Then put in a Target or Wal-Mart order or head to Costco and gather the goods. Our summer days will be a lot more enjoyable both for us and our kids if we are prepared with the supplies we need.

Summer is a magical time. Lazy days and starry late nights. Pool afternoons with sun kissed faces. Popsicles and neighbor friends and sprinkler parties. Road trips and ice cream dates. Before these sun-shiny days are here, let’s prep for summer so we can savor and enjoy this season with our people. How will you Prep for Summer?

How we spend our days is of course how we spend our lives. -Annie Dillard

This quote gets me every time. I love reading/watching/listening to A Day in the Life posts. Reading about how others do life gives me perspective and I enjoy getting a peek into someone else’s day to day. Today I’m sharing A Day in the Life Away from Home. As most of you know, our family enjoys travel. Check out Simpler Travel with Kids for more on that. This Day in the Life came from when we were in South Padre, Texas this February.

Here we go…

A Day in the Life Away from Home

Sometime between 5-6 a.m.: Jack climbs in bed with us.  I spend the next hour with feet in my face teetering between being awake and asleep.

6:40: I roll out of bed and Jack jumps out of bed.  I get dressed, brush my teeth, drink a glass of water.

6:50: I head out to the beach for a walk. While I’m walking, I listen to the Raising Boys and Girls podcast.

7:30: I walk to the grocery store for a few things (sticky notes and postcard stamps) and then head home.

7:31: The kids have already completed math with Kevin.  Luke completes his Language Arts lesson with me.   

8:00: Lily gets out of the pool to do her language arts lesson. We do her lesson together while I simultaneously play Phase 10 with Jude. I ask God for patience a few times. Kevin begins work.

8:45: We all head outside for the kids to swim.  I complete a Motivated workout on the deck.

10:00: We get cleaned up and head to the coffee shop.

10:15: We all enjoy coffee and snacks. The coffee shop is full and quiet, so we take our treats outside to not disturb the peace.

10:45: We get back home and the swimsuits are back on and the kids jump in the pool.

11:15: I make a snack tray for lunch. I put chicken thighs in the oven for Kevin and I. The kids eat and continue to swim.

12:00: We all clean up for bike ride.

12:45: We bike to the end of the island and hang by the ocean. It’s windy. We look at sand dunes. Luke falls and scrapes his knee. He shakes it off and rides home.

1:45: Everyone is in their rooms for quiet time. Kevin and I head outside for some quiet time ourselves. We read and dream about future travel.

3:25: The kids are up from quiet time and are swimming. Jack takes awhile to wake up. Lily ends up falling asleep on me. I think the bike ride wore her out.

5:00: We all go inside and get clothes on to ride to dinner.

5:30: We pack the cooler and bike to the sunset and dinner.

5:45: We look at sand castles and go on the ferris wheel. The kids have been asking to do this since we got here. Luckily, Jack is tall enough.

6:00: We order food from a food truck: burgers for the boys and quesadillas for Lily and I. Kevin and the kids play football on the green space and we watch the sunset.

7:00: It’s getting chilly so we head home. Kevin puts the bikes away while I get the kids inside.

7:35: The kids brush teeth. We read Mercy Watson and the Bible. Kevin prays.

8:00: All the kids are in bed. Luke comes to our room to watch basketball. UCONN beats Villanova in an exciting game. I read a new book in-between watching the game.

9:15: Luke goes to bed. Kevin and I read a little bit longer.

9:45: Lights are out and we are all dreaming about tomorrow.

It might not be super exciting, but this is what A Day in the Life Away from Home looks like for us.

My husband and I have the travel bug. I caught it in high school while visiting the British Virgin Islands with one of my best friend’s family. Pretty sure it’s in Kevin’s DNA. Either way, being on the road or on an adventure or someplace new is our happy place.

As I write this, we are driving on the interstate in our mini van, another destination just a few hours away. The kids have finished up school and are on their screens, happily eating fig bars and counting the Teslas on the road. My husband is on a work call and I am typing away to you.

Travel with kids isn’t easy. It’s risky and exhausting and takes thought and preparation. But I will always argue it’s worth it. Experiencing different places with our family of six has allowed us time together to laugh, struggle, fight, make up, and create unforgettable memories. It’s given us time without distractions, without the busyness to just be together in the same place doing the same thing. And while travel with kids isn’t easy, we have found ways to make it simpler. Through (lots of) trial and error we have created some rhythms and rules to make travel with kids work for us. Our Intentional Living Experiment helped a lot with this.

My hope in sharing our rhythms and rules is to make travel more accessible, doable, and less stressful. The things we do will not work for everyone, but hopefully will inspire you to create your own rhythms and rules around travel to make it simpler and less stressful.

Simpler Travel with Kids

Decide Once Rules

I have cited The Lazy Genius principles more than once because, well, they are genius. Decide Once is a Lazy Genius principle and it is a life saver when it comes to travel. For us, we have a few Decide Once rules. We have made these rules slowly over time and they ebb, flow, and change as we do. Here are a few examples of our current Decide Once Rules.

We almost always stay in an Airbnb or VRBO when we travel. There are a few exceptions, like when we just need to stay one night or when my husband has an event at a hotel. But otherwise, a vacation rental works best for our family in this season. A washer and dryer, kitchen, and space to spread out is what we need to make travel work best for us.

While we are traveling to and from a destination, we don’t think about screen time or snacks because they are both abundant and we are okay with it. Travel is a change in routine and can be stressful for adults and children alike. When I travel my screen time and snack intake is more than usual and I’m okay with it because it doesn’t happen everyday. For us, the only rule when it comes to screen time and snacks while traveling is there are no rules.

For those of you who are struggling hard with this one, screen time is super limited when we get to our destination because we are out exploring. And since we stay in a vacation rental, we can cook and eat real food during our stay. You may not be able to live with this and that’s a-okay. We all get to choose our Decide Once rules.

To go along with the snacks, I always pack snack bags for each kid. The snack bags consist of a gallon sized Ziploc with non-messy snacks including granola bars, fruit snacks, raisins, crackers. Each kid gets a snack bag at the beginning of the trip and can partake whenever they feel like it.

These rules are specific to our family in this season. They may or may not work for you. My goal is to get you thinking about what Simpler Travel with Kids can look like for you.

Are there any Decide Once rules you can make now to make life easier when you travel?

Travel Rhythms

Our travel rhythms have been intentionally and unintentionally formed over numerous trips away from home. Like our Decide Once Rules, these rhythms have evolved with us as our family has grown.

One of our travel rhythms is straightforward: We like to travel in the winter. Our lifestyle is such that travel in the winter just makes sense. Our farm requires less of our attention and our kids aren’t currently in lots of activities in the winter. Also, we like to be warm and where we live just isn’t warm in the winter. This doesn’t mean we never travel during other seasons, because we do. It just means right now our family rhythm lends itself to doing most of our travel in the winter.

Our family likes to be active. One of our family threads is riding bikes. We do this often in the spring, summer, and fall at home. It just makes sense that we ride bikes when we travel to warm places in the winter. When I’m looking for places to stay, I take where we can ride into consideration because I know we will want to do this. Because this is part of our travel rhythm when we are traveling as a family, many times we drive instead of fly so we are able to take bikes with us.

Another travel rhythm for our family is we try and keep some of our regular rhythms. (I’m sorry, I’m sick of the word rhythm, too.) We still do school when it makes sense and we still have an hour or two of quiet time in the afternoons. Kevin is still in charge of breakfast, while I take lunch and we tag team dinner. Laundry is still being done on the daily and bed time routines are still loosely followed. There are times, of course, when we stray from our normal, daily rhythms. But as a whole, we have found travel to be simpler when we keep some of our daily rhythms in place.

Are there any rhythms that stand out from past travel? Are there rhythms you would like to keep, implement, or let go moving forward?

Travel is a lot with kids. It just is. But, we can make it simpler by implementing Decide Once Rules and thinking through Travel Rhythms. How can you try for Simpler Travel with Kids?

This month is all about L-O-V-E. Although we don’t need a holiday to love our people, it gives us a good reason to get intentional about loving the ones closest to us, specifically our kids. I want to be super clear, these are things I am hoping to work on this month and the rest of the year. I’m preaching to my own little heart choir here. Let’s talk 5 Ways to Intentionally Love Our Kids.

5 Ways to Intentionally Love Our Kids

Listen.

I know this seems silly and obvious, but I think sometimes as parents we don’t do this enough. Listen to their stories, their tales, all the seemingly unimportant stuff. Listen to their annoyances, their fears, their plights for justice. I know we’ve all heard this quote: Listen to anything your children want to tell you. If you don’t listen to the small stuff now, they won’t tell you the big stuff later.

Let’s love our kids by listening to the small stuff.

Play.

This is a hard one for me. Not because I don’t like playing with my kids, but because I have four kids and they all play together while I do alllll the things. But whenever I make time to play with my kids, I get the gift of seeing the world through their eyes. I get to see the magic, the wonder, the silly. And as much as it fills me up, I know it does the same or more for them. I want to be clear, I’m not talking about entertaining our kids. I’m talking about entering in to their made up game or imaginary world. It doesn’t have to be hours of play, 15 minutes is a good place to start.

Let’s love our kids through play.

Build Up.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the things our kids aren’t doing. He isn’t picking up his room. He isn’t being kind to his sister. She isn’t doing her best on her school work. Although these things can be frustrating and will need addressing, let’s choose to focus on building up our kids. When we see one of our kids doing something kind or loving, let’s notice it. When we see a child working hard on some homework, let’s encourage it. And when we build our kids up, let’s use specific language. Instead of ‘Good job!’ Let’s use: ‘Wow, you are working so hard to get your school work completed today.’ Or: ‘Look at the way you put away your toys. I can tell you took your time to do it right.’

Let’s love our kids by building them up.

Do something together.

Shared experiences bring people closer. Find something you and your kid or kids can do together. Maybe it’s playing a card game (this gets played A LOT around here) or building a snowman. Maybe you read a novel together, paint a picture, or have a dance party. Or maybe you invite your kids into the kitchen to help you make a snack or meal. Find something you can do together and be present while you’re doing the thing.

Let’s love our kids by doing something together.

Date.

If you have multiple kids, chances are one on one time can sometimes be hard to come by. Let’s make time for it and date our kids. It doesn’t have to be fancy or extravagant. Simply playing a game with a child in their room without interruption can be a date. Having your spouse watch the other kids while taking a walk with a child is another way to get in some one on one time. And, of course, you can take your kid to dinner, ice cream, or a museum, too. Let’s not overcomplicate it. Keep it simple and make it work.

Let’s love our kids by dating our kids.

Intentionality helps us do the things we want to do. These 5 Ways to Intentionally Love Our Kids is simply a place to begin. How will you love your kids today?

Birthday month is coming up for our family. My two bigs have birthdays in November along with my mom and father in law. We like a reason to celebrate at our house, so the next month is going to be good. Although we celebrate big, we are intentional with how we celebrate. Today I’m sharing a few ways to have Intentional Birthdays.

Intentional Birthdays

Fewer Gifts, More Experiences

Every family has different values. For us, we value experiences over stuff. That is not right or wrong, it’s just what our family prioritizes. This year, we asked our two big kids if they would rather have gifts from us or go on a mini getaway to Great Wolf Lodge. Luke and Lily chose the latter and so we are headed to swim for a few days to celebrate.

They will still receive gifts from grandparents and a few other close, loved ones. We will celebrate them, it will just look a little different. The gifts will be in the form of time together instead of something wrapped in a package.

Birthdays at your house don’t have to look like our’s, but I think it’s helpful to get clear on what you do want them to look like. Big party? Fun gifts? Family experiences? What do you want your family culture to be surrounding birthday celebrations?

Intentional Time

One thing we make sure happens during kid birthdays is spending one on one time with the birthday kid. A date with Mom and Dad is on the calendar and we are sure to give the birthday kid our undivided time and attention. Believe it or not, this is semi-hard to make happen, but it’s always worth it.

How can you set aside intentional time for the human whose birthday you are celebrating?

Celebration Journals

Several years back I found keeping track of birthday cards to be difficult. Kevin and I started using celebration journals instead of getting each other cards and it has expanded to our kids. Every person in our family has a celebration journal (similar to this). We write a note in their journal when their special day comes around. The journal keeps everything from past years together and it’s fun to go back and read old entries from birthdays and other celebrations. We also use these for anniversaries, holidays, or when we just want to write a note to our kids on a random Tuesday. Celebration Journals give us a simplified way to tell the people we love that we love them.

Are celebration journals a tool that makes sense for your family?

Celebrating another year of life is special and sacred and worthy. How can you be intentional with birthday celebrations at your house?

I’m writing this in June. In an Airbnb about 45 minutes from our humble farm house. Yesterday was almost 90 and sunny and today it’s barely 70 and cloudy. Summer in the midwest is unpredictable. It’s also lots of other things. It’s carefree days at the swimming hole and long nights catching fireflies. Summer is freedom and whimsy and spontaneous popsicles at 10 a.m. Since I am smack dab in the middle of summer, I want to meditate on how I can savor it a month from now. How I can hold tight to all the good and glorious. Let’s talk 10 Ways to Savor Summer.

10 Ways to Savor Summer

Say yes.

All those things you have been saying no to all summer. Say yes, at least once. Yes to the pool when it opens. Yes to ice cream before lunch. Even yes to a movie marathon. If you want to take it a step further, watch Yes Day and then make all your kids’ dreams come true (within reason).

Check things off.

Did you make a Summer Bucket List? If you’re like me, it could have been forgotten exactly two weeks after you wrote ‘Go to splash pad’ along with 20 other things you wanted to do this summer. Dig it back out and make a commitment to check things off these last days of summer.

Be spontaneous.

One morning when you’ve had enough coffee, decide to be spontaneous. Take a short road trip to the museum you’ve been wanting to check out. Surprise Grandma and Grandpa with a visit. Splurge and take the kids to the water park. Being spontaneous creates priceless memories for your entire family.

Pretend you’re on vacation.

Take a day or two and pretend your family is on vacation. Sleep late, get take out, make s’mores by the fire (or in the microwave). Whatever you usually do on vacation, try and replicate at home. For our family it looks like exploring somewhere new in the morning, a relaxing afternoon, and a fun kid-chosen dinner.

Ease back into routines.

Whether we like it or not, fall is coming, along with the rhythms and routines to go with it. Let’s make it easier on ourselves and ease back into it. Choose one thing to begin now. Start with an earlier wake time or putting real clothes on each day or moving bedtimes up. When we ease back into routines, it allows our bodies and brains to adjust slowly and ready ourselves for the upcoming season.

Date our kids.

Before the pools close and school begins, let’s date our kids. Schedule one-on-one time for each kid, making sure to get input from each kid on what an ideal date would be. For our family, scheduling one-on-one time is not easy and requires planning and intentionality. I am getting it on the calendar now before time gets away from us.

Plan the get together.

Who is it you want to see this summer? Girlfriends? A family down the street? Those friends you don’t see when school is in session? Send a text now and invite them over or plan a time to get together at the park or pool. Summer can get full, but we will never regret making time for people who matter to us.

Begin something new.

What is something you’ve been wanting to begin, but never have time for? Working out? Quiet time? Reading fiction? Walking? If summer is a bit slower, decide to begin the new thing now so when things pick up, it’s close to becoming a habit.

Take time to give.

Life is lived most fully when we give to others. Where can you give of yourself today? Maybe it’s right in your home; making your husband’s favorite meal. Maybe it’s in your neighborhood; delivering a meal to a new mom. Or maybe it’s in your church or city; loving on others by filling a food pantry or serving meals or holding babies. Take time to give to others. I promise you will get more out of it than you put in.

Purge summer things.

This may be fun for some and really not fun for others. Whatever camp you lie in, it’s still valuable. Carve out an hour to go through and purge summer stuff. Life jackets that no longer fit, broken flip flops, unused sand toys, too short dresses and shorts. If we didn’t use the things this summer, there is a pretty good chance we won’t use them next summer. Of course there are always outliers, but for the most part we can purge a lot of our unused summer items now.

Do the one thing.

What lights you up in the summer? Is it a book, a cold drink, and a quiet afternoon? Maybe it’s an adults only pool day or staying up late to look at the stars. Whatever lights you up, make time for it in the next few weeks. God gave us this one big, beautiful life to live. Let’s live it fully, never taking a day for granted. Do the one thing.

These are just 10 Ways to Savor Summer. There are many ways to hold tight to this magical season. How will you savor summer?

It was a random weekday morning. It had been a few weeks since we returned from our Intentional Living Experiment in Texas. The sun was shining and it was a surprising warm day for March. Our two oldest kids were quarreling…again. It had been like this for a week now. Bickering with each other and misbehavior we hadn’t seen while we were away. We had worked on slowly easing back into normal life, but our kids were still struggling.

Goodbye Toys Day

In a ‘straw that broke the camel’s back’ moment, my husband took all the toys away. All of them. He calmly told our two oldest kids to pack all the toys up in their rooms and take them to the basement. I watched in astonishment as they did what my well-meaning husband said, thinking selfishly: WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE THESE TWO KIDS GOING TO DO ALL DAY WITHOUT THEIR TOYS. With gritted teeth and a slow head nod, I supported my husband as the kids moved all the toys from their rooms to the spare bedroom in the basement. My husband told the kids the toys would be gone for a week. The timeline was extended after more misbehavior.

Now, some of you may be thinking we are harsh parents. Deprivation and all that. But before you go down that path, let me reassure you. All of the toys weren’t stacked and stored in the basement (even though I said that earlier). The kids still had the shared toys available to all our kids in the toy closet. Magnatiles and wooden blocks, the play kitchen, instruments, matchbox cars.

After the initial shock of bare bedrooms, each day became easier. On the first day, I sat down with each child to make a list of things to do when they were bored and they never once used that list. They played together with the shared toys in the toy closet, went outside more, read, and used pantry and kitchen items to create their own restaurant. I know I’m painting a rosy picture and you could be rolling your eyes, but I’m being real when I say these two kids barely noticed their toys were gone.

Observations

As my husband and I observed their play and realized the affect wasn’t as dramatic as anticipated, we recognized two things: A. This ‘consequence’ might not be that effective since they didn’t miss the toys and B. Our kids need a lot less toys than we think. When our kids were able to get toys back, we slowly added them; each child choosing 3 toys a day. It was incredibly telling to see what each kid picked: some of their choices were expected and others unanticipated.

Selling and Donating

As time went on, our oldest decided he wanted to part with some of his toys for good. He sold Lego kits on Facebook Marketplace and donated toys he decided he no longer wanted. As an experiment and incentive, we decided to offer money for toys donated. If one dollar is worth more to them than a toy, the toy probably didn’t earn space in their room. Many toys went out the door and with each one toy clean up became quicker and the overwhelm diminished.

Reflections

Was taking all our kids toys away a good thing? For our family, yes. I’ll be honest when I say I was a bit worried, skeptical, and anxiety ridden those first few days. But, it challenged us all to do with less and it was good.

Prior to the goodbye toys day, we had been pretty minimal when it came to toys, or so I thought. However, we still had overflowing bins and about 5,000 too many Lego pieces. This was an opportunity for us and our kids to recalibrate and decide what was enough and what toys they really enjoyed playing with on a daily basis. Turns out, the shared toys are toys they really enjoy and those toys foster playing together. Blocks, magnatiles, instruments, matchbox cars, a doctor kit. These toys saw and continue to see a lot of action as the kids play with them together. For us, getting rid of the excess toys allowed our kids more time together.

I want to be clear that there is still bickering…on a daily basis. They are kids after all: learning to problem solve and get along and learning how to be unselfish (this is so hard). But, it’s different than the bickering we saw before the goodbye toy day. It’s mostly productive and the kids are doing the good work of childhood: learning how to be a person living with other people.

Moving Forward

Moving forward we hope to slow the stream of toys coming in. My husband and I became a little lazy when it came to buying our kids toys pre-goodbye toys day. There were times we purchased toys unintentionally, which does not align with our values. We are hoping to get back to the basics: toys at Christmas and birthdays and possibly for challenges or goals met.

When toys do come in through other sources (and they will), we will use the one in, one out rule. Anytime a new toy comes in, another toy goes out. My husband and I practice what we preach in this area with the things we bring into our home. One swimsuit in, one swimsuit out. Four pairs of socks in, four pairs of socks out. One coffee mug in, one coffee mug out.

We have already seen how fewer toys have impacted our kids in positive ways: less overwhelm, less time cleaning up, and more purposeful play together.

A positive impact of the goodbye toys day for my husband and I has been monetary. When our son was selling his Lego kits for a fraction of what he or we paid for them, it gave us a wake up call to realize how much money we spent on temporary toys. Moving forward we hope to purchase less toys. When we do make toy purchases for birthdays and Christmas, we are going to experiment using Facebook Marketplace and Ebay for gifts. We know this won’t be easy because Amazon in two days is sooooo convenient. But, it’s definitely worth a try.

In Conclusion

Our kids still have toys. They are not deprived. They are not sitting in empty rooms. Our kids have enough for our family and our lifestyle. Our goodbye toys day was an exciting, unexpected turning point in our simplicity journey and one that helped us learn more about who we are as a family and what we value.

We value time together going on walks and reading and bike rides and dancing to music in the kitchen. We value saying yes to family ice cream dates and new books and using our resources to make memories traveling together.

Every single family is different and every family’s ‘enough’ looks different. Taking away all the toys won’t work for everyone. For some families, it could look like paring down to half the toys or letting go of 5-10 toys. Or it might look like rotating toys from a toy closet. Or maybe it means simply being intentional about what toys come in from here on out. Intentionality when it comes to toys has been an incredibly valuable way for our family to do with less and have more time for what matters.

How can you be intentional with toys today?

We’ve already talked Tips for A Simpler Summer. Our expectations are in check. We have a plan, automated the boring stuff, and fun is at the top of our to-do list. Our next step is prepping the practical stuff. The snacks, the clothes, the meals.

Each summer brings a brand new two and a half months (or three if you’re lucky) full of possibilities.

My mom had a daycare in our house when we were kids so she could stay home with us. During the summer months our home was full of playmates and our backyard housed an above ground pool. Many summers of my childhood were spent swimming around that oval body of water, water wings tight around my arms, basking in the sun. My mom had to be on top of it with all the towels and snacks and pool after nap time routine. Her ship ran smoothly (most days) and it was because she was prepared.

Today we are going to get practical and prep for summer so we can prepare for all the fun that lies ahead. Every item on this list isn’t for every family. Pick and choose what works for you as you prep for summer and add or subtract as needed.

10 Ways to Prep for Summer

#1 Stock up on snacks and create a grab and go cabinet.

Snacks can make or break our summer. I know that’s being dramatic, but there is truth in it. Let’s stock up on snacks and create a grab and go cabinet where snacks are easily accessible for adults and kids (if you want that). We don’t do a lot of snacks at home, but I have a cabinet that’s ready to go when we are heading out the door for a morning playdate or trip to our local swimming hole. Stocking up on snacks will ensure we’re always ready for the neighborhood kids stopping by or an impromptu trip to the pool.

#2 Curate a summer capsule wardrobe for your kids.

Kids don’t wear a lot of clothes in the summer, at least mine don’t. A summer capsule makes dressing them a lot simpler. In our family, each kid has enough clothes so they don’t run out and that’s pretty much it. Shorts and tops are interchangeable and each kid’s sandals go with everything. If clothes are taking over your home, consider cutting back.

Each of our kids’ closets house enough clothes for about a week and a half and that works well for us. In your home it may be more or less. Laundry is inevitable, but how much laundry we have is up to us.

#3 Finally make the chore chart happen.

Chores help kids feel like part of the family and teach them responsibility. Chores also take a few things off our plate. If you’ve been on the fence about a chore chart, try one out this summer. Think through 5 chores that are developmentally appropriate for each of your kids. Check out this list for ideas. Create a chart and try it out.

Our family’s system is simple. My two oldest kids have 5 chores to complete and my four year old has three. Each morning they complete a chore and mark it off. When all the chores are marked off, they receive three dollars. One dollar to save, one dollar to tithe, and one dollar to spend. Then the chart starts all over again.

The most important thing I’ve learned when it comes to chore charts is: keep it simple. If it’s too complicated, it will get purposefully forgotten before the first week is over.

#4 Make outdoor play accessible.

We have a fence around our backyard for a reason. For the same reason, there is a tub outside housing all the outdoor playthings. Make outdoor play accessible for your kids this summer. Make it easy for them to run out the door, without you, if they’re old enough.

If you don’t have a fence and don’t want to build one, talk about boundaries and expectations and spend the first week teaching your kids what playing outside looks like without Mom. If you don’t have a place for all the outdoor toys, make one. An old bucket, bin, or tote will do the trick. House sunscreen by the door to remind them and you to apply before heading into the sunshine.

Outdoor play is incredibly valuable for our kids, so let’s make it accessible this summer.

#5 Make a list of 10 go to summer meals.

I have a love/dislike relationship with cooking in the summer. Give me all the fresh ingredients from the garden and the yummy fruits and veggies from our Old Tree Farm CSA. However, I really wish I could avoid spending time in the kitchen when I could be outside. Making a list of 10 go to summer meals that don’t require hours in the kitchen saves me in the summer. Tacos, air fryer chicken tenders and CSA veggies, crock pot pork carnitas, brats and veggies on the grill, clean out the fridge night. Make a list of 10 go to summer meals so you can spend less time in the kitchen and more time with your people.

#6 Have a swim bag at the ready.

Whether you are heading to the nearest pool, lake, or swimming hole, have a swim bag at the ready. Place towels, sunscreen, swim diapers, and water and sand toys in the bag so it’s always ready to go. After a day at our local swimming hole, I wash everything and put it straight back into the swim bag. No more searching for towels when we are trying to walk out the door.

#7 Create a laundry routine.

Is it just me or is there more laundry in the summer? Swimsuits and towels, I’m looking at you. Create a laundry routine that serves your family’s needs. I throw a load of laundry in everyday and in the summer, usually it’s two. This routine helps me keep up with allll the laundry coming at me on a daily basis. Maybe doing a load a day isn’t feasible for you. Decide what few days of the week you will do laundry and stick to it. Creating a laundry routine will ease the pain of laundry this summer.

#8 Manage the family calendar.

Summer may be slower or fuller depending on kid sports, vacations, and family and friend gatherings. With things opening back up more, we may feel a bit overwhelmed in a good way (I’m raising my hand here). Before we are in the full heat of summer, let’s look at our calendars and be sure we have all our ducks in a row. I use Apple Calendar as well as a visual monthly family calendar from Circle and Square.

My husband and I recently sat down to go through our summer calendar. We got on the same page for specific dates this summer: a second birthday celebration for Jack, a state fair visit (fingers crossed), Summer U for the kids, extended family gatherings, a possible weekend getaway for us to celebrate our anniversary. We mapped it out together and now we are both clear on what our summer looks like.

On a micro level, my husband and I also sit down on Sunday afternoons to plan the week ahead. It takes about ten to twenty minutes and ensures we both know what is going down the next 7 days.

It doesn’t matter if you are a paper or paperless kind of girl when it comes to the calendar, simply taking the time to plug things in to know what’s coming will be helpful in prepping for summer.

#9 Prep for summer and purge the school stuff.

I know it’s daunting to think of going through backpacks and bedrooms to sort alllll the things from the past school year, but I promise it will be worth it. Empty backpacks, the back seat, the dining room table, the bedrooms and recycle or store papers and projects from this past school year. When we do this, it makes space for all the fun things coming this summer. Enlist your kids to help decide what stays and what gets recycled.

And let’s remember: If everything is special, nothing is. (This is hard for me, too.)

#10 Make space.

You may love summer or you may find it incredibly hard. Whichever camp you lie in, be sure to make space to replenish your energy. I promise, you will be a better mom for it. Create a rhythm of taking time for yourself each day and each week. It could look like a morning walk or gazing at the sunrise before your kids are awake. Maybe it’s calling a friend or reading a book during quiet time in the afternoons. It might be sitting on the porch after the kids are in bed or taking a bath each night. Make space to fill your cup so you’re able to pour into your family this summer. It matters because you matter.

Let’s be sure we prep for summer so we are ready for all the fun it has to offer. What will you do to prep for summer?